Proceleusmatic

overwhelmed

2007-11-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

meeting deadlines this semester was extremely unpleasant. paternal granddad and maternal grandma were in hospital at about the same time... both fell down at home. grandma alright, granddad bedridden. and there goes cycle 233985047502703 of family politics and incessant caretaking. i pity my grand dad... i wouldn't want to be in his shoes and i pray hard everyday i would not end up like that when i'm old. when you become immobilized and have to put on diapers and defaecate and urinate on your own bed and having to wait for your children and grandchildren come before you could be bathed and cleaned... where is the human dignity in that?

exams are coming... deadlines are well... all done i suppose... and i am extremely overwhelmed by everything... i miss my friends. i feel like everyday i am going deeper and deeper into a hell hole. there is nothing to look forward to in the near future. right after exams work awaits me. hnrs thesis is the pits. and as i complain incessantly here i feel so pathetic that i feel like i'd rather die

the pits

2007-10-28T18:42:00.000+08:00

i dunno what to do. maybe it's a retribution of some sort. i don't deserve this. just one more wrong move from someone and i'll just give way. i'm not a machine. i am human like everyone else. so stop expecting too much of me or i'll just jump

my sad boardie

2007-10-11T02:23:00.000+08:00

my surfboard looks sad... i think it misses the water.... i miss the ocean too boardie... i really need to live somewhere close to the ocean la!

i feel lighter!

2007-10-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! not because i lost weight or anything la! haha! but i do feel lighter... if you know what i mean. and it is quite a good feeling. still so many things to do... but i guess it's not so bad now cause at least there's a direction in which i could proceed towards... everything seems to fall into place somewhat. i was trying my very best to get through the woods... but the more i ran through it the more i got lost in it... now that i've found a pathway out of it, i'll just take my time through it, it'll take some time, but at least i know i'll come out of it alive

let's whine and dine and make misery

2007-09-30T11:23:00.000+08:00

so i have not been blogging for a long time... but that is only because I would have just ended up making noise and complaining about my horrible life. I mean, right now as I blog, I can't think of anything else other than my piles of work. I have been extremely busy... this semester's workload supersedes even last semester when i was taking 6 modules. Seeeeeee! this is why i stopped blogging for a while cos I didn't want to end up talking about school. But really la... school is taking its toll on me big time.

by the way, I just love mad jack's... yummy yummy food... although seriously, the blue mountain burger is sooo overrated... haha!... raya is coming already... time really flies... as usual, raya has lost its spark for me... what more with the house moving one week after raya and the deadlines come darting at me. on top of that I wouldn't have anything new to wear for raya cos my nice purple baju kurung (the only reason i was looking forward to raya) ... well the pants... had to be sent for alteration because I could not fit into it! and now it won't be ready in time. It's funny cos i sent a sample baju kurung in which I could fit nicely... even the pants, and they insisted that the measurements were all correct.... soooooooo how is it that I could not fit into the new pants??? pray tell me why my stupid baju kurung tailor? my parents asked me to go get a ready made baju kurung but no way in hell am I gonna bother myself with that... i'll just wear an old set... i haev many baju kurungs la... wear once only. I can't believe I feel nauseated talking about raya!

well besides that, there's nothing else to talk about... of course I did go out and all la... that my life didn't really just involve studying only... but I am immensely broke right now... because some people just refuses to pay the tuition fees. it is not the first time and I am really contemplating to just quit tutoring her kid. But i sorta pity the kid la... but then how sey? People say just go ask and ask for the fees until she gives but I don't like to extort money from people la. aiya dunno la.

and as usual, I feel mopey about melbourne again. or maybe not really la... I think what I need is a really damn good holiday. I knew this was coming... I'm burning out I think because I really feel like quitting honours year... I really feel I don't have what it takes to go on.

see... I ended up talking about school

I'm miserable

But I'm still thankful God...

Mad World

2007-09-20T15:00:00.000+08:00

i love this rendition of Mad World by Ben Mckenzie, Aussie Idol '07 contestant

wind, take me away with you

2007-08-27T20:54:00.000+08:00

just at this very moment i really wish I could be elsewhere... i am so tensed that I really just want to paddle the cold waters of Australia and be one with the ocean. i want to feel the cold water splashing on my face and i will beg the waves to take me away... far far away from this melancholy. i miss the great ocean.

i see the sunshine after the rain

2007-08-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

the past week was uneventful... classes as usual... readings are aplenty... i wasn't so stressed up... am trying to settle down quickly and really get into full school mode. apart from yesterday when i found out most of those doing their HTs have already gotten their supervisors! and there i was .. still sitting on the proposal... i wanted to do a relatively extensive lit review before i meet daniel goh.. but what with readings for the seminars, i really hadn't got any time!... it didn't help that class ended only at 10 last night... btw forensic science is very very interesting although it can be quite gory and morbid at times....... so well... after class i drove myself back and got to working on my proposal... by three i emailed daniel.. hoping that i wldn''t be too late because i heard that many are thinking of going to him for supervision....

today i decided to go to school.. cause i have so much to do.... and it proved to be worth my while.... i spent 3 hrs photocopying readings for interpretive sociology!!! i didnt expect chapters 1 and 2 of a book could total up to about 100 pages! siao can! so that done with i went to perk point to well.. perk myself up with refreshments cause i was so thirsty and hungry! manged to do a whole lot of reading in 4 hrs. i think i should go to school every saturday lah! hahaha no life lah siak!...

anyway... had to take the bus just now... cause weekends, the car's out of bounds... the bus ride home was well... eye opening? haha... the bus looked different from the outside... and to my surprise the bus driver actually gave a wide smile and greeted me politely as i boarded the bus! and then... this greeted me.........

pardon me if i got a li'l bit excited at the sight of this but i have never seen a bus like this!!!! so loungey! hahhaa.. there was even a bar top with two bar stools facing the window! haha... it was so nice! i didn't even know such a bus existed... i mean the interior walls of the bus are upholstered la! haha.. but got some impracticalities la... and of course the seating capacity is greatly reduced... but that's ok for 156 service late at night... cause not too many passengers la that time of the night....

anyway i was dead tired la when i came back home.. but when i opened my email.. i got an email from daniel goh! i have gotten myself a HT supervisor!!! that's one cause for worry down! yipeeeeeee... so now i'm in a lighter mood.. still tired... but at least tonight's gonna be a peaceful slumber!

only the weak weep

2007-08-16T00:25:00.001+08:00

3rd day of school and i already feel like i'm not up to all this honours year shit. too much too soon...

family is precious

2007-08-14T00:13:00.001+08:00

'brothers and sisters' tugs at your heart strings... reminds one of how important family is and how much you love every single one of 'em. we fight. we squabble. we scream at one another. at the end of the day, family's indispensable. and we always yearn for that familial love and affection we always find almost palpable.

of big bulky boxes, bubble wraps and oily chicken skin

2007-08-13T10:18:00.000+08:00

the past week-- tiresome. busy busy busy packing and stacking boxes... we're prolly like 60 % ready to move house liao! haha. the irony is that the first hdb appointment will only be in mid september! well, i took on the liberty of packing most of the stuff cause once i start school, hence today onwards, i wouldn't want to bother myself with all those packings anymore. i have a great load on my mind right now. i am still grappling with the fact that i have to come up with a thesis idea real soon. in fact by october i'd have to have had to choose a lecturer as my HT supervisor and to have a tentative title for my HT. so far i feel like my ideas suck. so more literature reading has definitely got to be done. I think it's pretty settled though that I'd want to do something pertaining to race and ethnic relations in Singapore and that I'd want Dr Daniel Goh to be my HT supervisor. He's pretty cool la.. although i don't appreciate his occasional sarcasms..... apart from that tuition time slots has been reshuffled to accommodate my new school timetable. i will prolly lose a tuition assignment which has been pushed to a weekend and that's fine by me. 100 bucks less but i'll live.

last two days was REWANG again... earned some buckeroos... although i was thinking yesterday how i'll never get used to the exhaustion that comes from all that work. i've done these for a few times and yet the exhaustion can still be quite unbearable. good thing last night was a sweet cool night as the skies decided to pour just as i was tucking myself into bed.

i'm hungry... i need to get myself some breakfast... class at 3 later: religion, deviance and identity... i hope the class's as interesting as the module title sounds. i've got my notebooks ready but i just realised i forgot to stock up on my highlighters and the CO-OP will be damn packed this time of the week what with ppl getting new stationary and textbooks. DANNGG. oh but i am prettey stoked to check out the new ARTS canteen... the new Deck. BurgerKing within crawling distance to everyday at school... tell me how i;m gonna keep myself from getting any bigger! i love my BK burgers la! sinful i tell ya!

i shall go eat now.

Protège moi

2007-08-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

C'est le malaise du moment
L'épidémie qui s'étend
La fête est finie on descend
Les pensées qui glacent la raison
Paupières baissées, visage gris
Surgissent les fantômes de notre lit
On ouvre le loquet de la grille
Du taudis qu'on appelle maison

Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me

Protège-moi, protège-moi {x4}

Sommes nous les jouets du destin

Souviens toi des moments divins
Planants, éclatés au matin
Et maintenant nous sommes tout seuls
Perdus les rêves de s'aimer
Le temps où on avait rien fait
Il nous reste toute une vie pour pleurer
Et maintenant nous sommes tout seuls

Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me

Protect me from what I want (Protège-moi, protège-moi)
Protect me from what I want (Protège-moi, protège-moi)
Protect me from what I want (Protège-moi, protège-moi)
Protect me
Protect me

Protège-moi, protège-moi
Protège-moi de mes désirs
Protège-moi, protège-moi

Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me {x3}

-PLACEBO

Here we go again

2007-07-30T13:38:00.000+08:00

CORS bidding starts today. For the first time in my NUS life, i have to bid for my Sociology modules... and it's gonna a blood bath at that! only a couple of hours into the start of the first bidding round, highest bid points go as high as 3000! and the other two concerned modules are at an incredible zenith of 2220 and 2060. I have only 2000 plus points to bid for all these three modules; doom seems to come a-looming...

i can't believe school is gonna start real soon! so many things coming my way this latter half of the year, what with school and raya and packing and moving house....... the list goes on. oh btw, we have finally gotten a flat! thank god for that... at anchorvale drive... tiny flat it is but it is nearby compasspoint shopping centre and the NEL. and the multi storey car park is enjoined to our block so we just need to walk down our corridors to get to the carpark...no hassle of taking the lift down and whatnots. we will prolly be shifting house only after raya... which i suppose is quite a relief... although i will be extremely busy with deadlines then... and so that is something no to look forward to. bad news aside, my bro will be coming back this november for summer break ... so that's nice... so sorry for him that he could not bid a proper farewell to his bedroom of 15 years or so... new flat: shared bedroom... i am not looking forward to that because my brother is a slob!.. but i reckon that since we survived melbourne together in that tiny lil room, sengkang's gonna be alright la.

so the past week has been really fun. and really draining on the wallet too. after my haircut on friday... plus having to pay for amirul's haircut first... i was really feeling a slight pinch. then i bought a pack of ciggies because lepaking without ciggies is like skipping without a jumping rope. turned out my packet of fags became the "rokok masyarakat" (society's ciggies) for the day... 20 sticks... gone in less than 10 hrs. company was great as always... topic of discussion was on celebrity gossips and scandals. -_-

i have tuition later. always dreading this one. because i think it is not necessary to tutor a primary one kid. furthermore it is dead tiring to teach a primary one kid who has a short attention span of 2.5 seconds. arrggghhhh! dreadful.

right now i feel kinda dull inside. maybe because last week was pretty exhilarating and the week ahead just seems loaded with incessant stressing about modules and school. i wanna go lie down for a bit now.

winter sets in

2007-07-24T21:48:00.000+08:00

i am loving the cool weather these days although it makes waking up from slumber just a tad more tedious. it rained on picnic day but we did it anyway, albeit later... company was awesome and laughter aplenty. sunday was a horrid day, spent the whole day in my room cause i was mad at mom. yesterday evening was karaoke night... more than five hours of singing and hollering tuneless silly songs really made my day. today is slacking at home which i reckon i deserve without a doubt considering the string of tuitions i have tomorrow... three tuition sessions, so i predict that i am gonna be in a foul mood tomorrow. But i guess with thursday to look forward to all will be well. The Simpsons! That's what thursday's something to look forward to.i believe i am running low on cash but i have been having a pretty splendid time these days so i shall not complain.

I still want a new DKNY watch because Nassar just bought a new piece and it's drop dead gorgeous.

like a toothpaste ad

2007-07-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

I am grinning from ear to ear. i am so happy with the four tees that fiza scoured for me in NY! haha... most important of all they all fit perfectly well! not too big .. not too small.. and i am really really fussy with how my tees fit me because the right size and cutting can give the illusion of a slimmer body and that is important for me! not i just gotta find a way to silhouette my round cheeks... orrrrrr I could go work my ass off la. I am a lazy prick really... for constantly giving excuses not to run. geez. and i'm so tired whining about this, as are those people around me who have to listen to me whine. Tapi aku MAlas!!!

this saturday... picnic at the botanic gardens for a birthday celebration for a friend... looking forward to it... hopefully it won't be too warm that day nor rain like crazy. i want a new DKNY watch... the old one's on the verge of death.

i just realised that i am one helluva mega materialistic maniac.

my old time crush

2007-07-17T21:05:00.000+08:00

calista flockhart is back on teeeveeeeee. i had a big time crush or something like that on her back in secondary school! haha... i was obsessed. I loved her so much on Ally McBeal. I really dunno why i like her so much but i am just drawn to her. When i saw her on Brothers and Sisters yesterday, i got to realise how much i've missed her... it felt like an old flame somewhat. okay... i'm weird like that but who's not?

had been lazy to update... but there's nothing much to talk about i guess... it's been the same same ol'. last weekend was pretty busy though... and all three nights since friday i came back late... (or really early in the morning). Not that i've not done that before but i don't think i have ever done that in three consecutive nights. Friday was TRANSFORMERS... which, as everyone would have known by now is just awesome. supper at the railway station after that. saturday was ummm... in fact... uneventful save for fetching fiza from the airport. changi village for nasi lemak before driving her home... and babe... 46 kg worth of luggage! damn heavy can! hahaha! but the pleasure was mine=)... although your housing estate creeps the bejeepers out of me! and i can't wait for my specially imported tees from New York!!!.......sunday was a boring dinner at samar with the army guys... but not really THE army guys i had been wanting to meet up with... i'd rather it was only a 'section' affair... clubbing after that which, after a long time since i last did that, was refreshing... haha... i have never liked clubbing... but that sunday was not too shabby.

can't wait for the house stuff to be finalised the end of this week... then finally we can all really breathe a much needed sigh of relief. this week i prolly won't go out... i should cut down on spending so that i could afford new things for my new room.. like that designer wall clock i've been eyeing on.. and furthermore i should tone it down a tiny tad before my parents start making noise about my seemingly incessant going out.

i think i might drop by the school library one of these days... try get ahead on some of the readings for the coming semester... okay okay... i'm geeky like that but i don't care! i want that second class uppers!

shopping spree of the homeless

2007-07-09T13:15:00.000+08:00

after more than 30 houses that we have looked, we've still not gotten a suitable house yet. we did like a few but it was either that the prices were too high or there were some 'technical' difficulties faced. worst of all was the one unit... blk 191A on rivervale drive... we liked it so much, we signed, deposited a few grand... and three days later the transaction did not go through because the idiotic fool of the husband (of the couple selling the house), who was supposed to be the only one left to sign the papers when he came home that very same night, decided not to be able to be reached. it was a divorce case and he decided that it was fun to drag us along with the problems of his shitty, failed married life. idiotic fool i tell ya... and of the utmost idiocy at that.

we were supposed to finish looking by today because we were scheduled to register with HDB today. but oh well we'll have to keep looking anyways... i really really hope that i will find a suitable flat tonight lest i get sick of sengkang way way before i reside in that neighbourhood. to celebrate the end of the house hunting( which now proves to be not the case) last week, i went shopping... spent a pretty extravagant sum of money but i was really satisfied! believe it or not, there are still some other stuff that i've not ticked off my shopping list yet... will prolly do that sometime this week or maybe the next... hopefully after the house hunt is really really over.

i love zara shirts, the details on the shirts are lovely. had been hunting for a pair of loafers for the longest time... found the perfect pair from lacoste... a simple crew neck tee and a pair of black denims from topman. the bag i got from esprit... LOVE. esprit has ugly clothes but i've always loved the bags. i need to now find decent pair of berms and few more tees... new undies and socks i reckon and i'll be all good.

i'm so bored right now. i miss school. i miss being preoccupied with school work. haha.

and btw, just for the record, i can't stand pompous bastards who like to impose their values on others. who are you to insinuate that i am shallow for dreaming MY dreams. who are you to suggest that MY dreams reflect my disregard for my parents, my family, my roots, my religion, my traditions and my moral values. WHO THE HELL are you to talk to me in a manner so unnecessarily offensive, guised in a purpotedly intellectually stimulating "exchange of ideas". These are MY dreams, MY plans for the future and you are nowhere close to being in the picture at all. so bugger off and leave the "paying of dues" to MY parents to me the way i intend to do it.

heatwave

2007-07-01T01:06:00.000+08:00

i dunno about you guys but the weather here in singapore seems to have become more and more unbearably hot these days. and that makes me really cranky. and cranky me is unpleasant.

Whipped and whiplashed

2007-06-26T14:17:00.000+08:00

Been a while since i last updated... not because i'm busy or anything... just a tad lazy these days. I am probably on full-slacking mode right now. since the last blog entry, i had only been busy helping my uncle with his wedding catering which earned me 70 bucks for two days of work... not too shabby cos i didn't even expect that much. next one will be on the 7th of july... not really looking forward to it cos wedding caterings are really hard work and i hate feeling so bloody tired and whipped at the end of the two days.

My parents and I went to our first house hunt at sengkang. houses were so tiny i feel almost claustrophobic. i love the house at punggol.. although i have never dreamed of living in punggol the place was really nice and nearby the MRT... got access card to the lift lobby some more... it was pseudo- condo la... but i guess my parents decided that it was not the best option.... Last wednesday was picnic at sentosa with my aunties and cousins... and vivocity later on.. had so much fun... although it was weird to go palawan with family... always used to going with my friends.. only bummer for the day was that i got hit by a football which was hurtling at me at a speed of 1000000 km/h.... right in the middle of my face... got the shock of my life, a whiplash effect, headaches and neck pains for a few days after... but all's good now. My sis came back last friday from dubai... she evidently had a lot of fun there... reminds me of how much fun i had in melbourne... and coming back to singapore was sorta bittersweet... u get to meet ur family but being in melbourne was just swell. living in melb for more than 6 months was an experience hard to overcome and forget ... took me a whole semester to really let go... hahha... so melodramatic like that!. but anyway... that friday night i met abby, jas , mirul and nas again... plus a newfound friend, junaide. nice fella but he lives in Bukit Batok and he has an affinity to the supernatural and seems to enjoy seeking 'em ghosts out! which totally doesnt work for me cos i'm a bloody coward and i DO KNOW FOR CERTAIN these things may follow you home. that night i was like driving from one point to another following the lead of junaide to parks and places i knew beforehand were notorious for their spooks. i wasnt too happy that night la... especially when there was a lot of driving to do... reached home at about 4.50 in the morning... dead beat from all that driving. btw i am really really sick of driving. not only is petrol expensive, the driving is also a pain la. i miss being the passenger.

saturday was a visit to my grandad's and the evening was THE RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER at Marina Square with the cuzzies... made our way to west coast after that... had bit of Mackers and tired ourself silly on the playground. was quite fun but the place has gotten quite overcrowded now unlike last time. Oh ! before the movie i got myself a pair of denims... i am not proud to declare that i have grown two sizes bigger and since i have decided to not live in denial anymore i bought myself a new pair of bottoms... i need a new wardrobe for school next sem!

"skinny is in vogue now"amirul said... and i concede in resentment. what a time for skinny to be in vogue! when i was skinny, baggy was in style. and that is pure injustice. i long to wear those skinny jeans but since i shall not subject myself to looking like a fat idiot in a pair of tight skinny jeans, i got myself a pair of straight cut jeans instead. i think they look nice on me... tight but nicely fitted i must say.

on sunday i fetched my parents from the harborfront... they came back from KL and my beloved beloved mum bought me a black leather sling bag that I have always wanted! cost quite a bit of money and I loveee my mum for that... but of course among other things lah. my mum is precious.. sometimes i tend to be forgetful of that.. but she does noe i love her heaps although i have a weird way of expressing it.hahaha.

It'S been a pretty good weekend... apart from the house hunting that has resumed... yesterday i was mistaken for a teenager.. the guy said " you must be 15 at most right?" and i was staring at him in pure disbelief... waiting for him to grimace or something... for a sign that he was bloody joking. BUT he was not. he said i look really young! i should really take offense to that right???? what the fuck! 15 sey! thats not even a 'legal' age! at least back in melb i was mistaken for 18 la... but thats only because caucasians look much older for their age.. but to be mistaken for someone below the age of 15? pure bullshit.

on that note i shall stop here.. got some stuff to do la... house hunting at yishun tonight... last night was hougang... i liked the third house but it was on the 2nd floor... bleaarrggh... hopefully there'd be nicer flats in yishun.

migration

2007-06-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

not to Australia... not just yet=) ... but the day I get my Aussie PR! woohoooo!!!... i reckon that will hopefully be sometime by 2009. but for now, i am leaving Bishan... my beloved Bishan flat. yeap... the house is finally sold... after an arduous three years or so searching for a buyer. a Malay buyer that is cause even flats have race here in singapore -_____-. the racial quota set by HDB... well... i dont see how that would help maintain racial harmony or whatever else the policy purports to do. i mean, the Malay (race as stated in her IC) lady who bought the flat does not look Malay, hardly spoke Malay and when she did, it wasn't REALLY Malay... if you noe wat i mean. I think i've met Chinese or Indians who are more Malay than this supposed Malay lady. I know that this racial quota policy may indeed fulfill a certain vital agenda but the extent to which it is effective is really limited. I think it needs to be revised.

that said...i am happy i guess that we're moving... although i'd really miss this place. Bishan is just a lovely place to stay at la. but it's gotta be done. i'd prolly won't have a room of my own anymore but i am really relieved that well... let's just say i can immediately go on to do my masters in Australia after i graduate next june! SSUUUHHHWEEELLLLLL EH??! haha.... everything seems to be in place right about now. i just have to work extra extra hard come honours year so that I will be qualified for melb uni's masters program... and then hopefully i could take up a job apart from the masters... and thennnn... i will try get that PR that I have always wanted since ...well since forever. if that materialises then i'll stay in melbourne for good! =)))))))). that's my plan for now... who noes what will happen, but at least i have a plan for now.

flat hunting will commence next week i think... and i hope we find a place real soon cause we'd have to leave by the end of september. busy busy amidst Ramadhan... gosh. and my newly painted room... well.... wat a waste of paint... HAHA! fortunately i have not started on the rest of the house! there are so many things going on in my life right now... things that i am really looking forward to and which i can't wait to go through. it's crazy but i am really looking forward to the start of the new semester! GEEK. I am the ultimate geek la. not that smart but a geek no less.

c'est la vie!

2007-06-09T15:24:00.000+08:00

YES! that's life... sometimes it's swell (LIKE A CHRYSLER... this one's parked at my carpark by the way)... sometimes it kills you (LIKE A ... hmm....third hand, 1983 toyota corolla?). but yesterday i had the greatest time i've ever had in a really really long time (definitely a CHRYSLER!)! the whole day was nothing but laughter and more laughter. today, my jaw feels kinda cramped from all that laughing! love 'em "traveler friends"-- as we call ourselves... haha (conjured when we first traveled to Bali together... when we first really had so much fun in one another's company)

so yesterday after friday prayers i picked amirul, jas and abby up... and we headed down to east coast right away. with a lil bit of delays along the way, we reached east coast park at about 4pm and got ourselves some lunch first at the food centre. food was alright la... i've always thought that there's nothing great about the food there.. but we were all famished, save for abby... who just had a bowl of mee soto at home prior to that and who had threatened to take a nap after that hearty meal and intending to meet us much much later. but hell no that was gonna happen... with amirul and his persuasive ways polished, abby was bound to meet us there and then and no later !... so we ate... and by five... we drove to carpark F... our favourite east coast park spot. laid the mat that i brought and the snacks we got earlier on an empty grass patch by the beach........ and that was just nice... with the sea breeze blowing in our faces. the simple pleasures of life... as usual, we took photos of ourselves... we kinda like to think of ourselves as fashion models la... pose pose snap... pose pose snap. i for one hate photo taking sessions... cause i just hate being in photos... but well.. just humour the rest la. photos not with me.. maybe sometime later when i get 'em i put them up here.........so the rest of the day was lying around... chips....candy...orangina...apple tea.... pistachios... wasabe coated peas.... yadayadayada... but more importantly everyone's company was greatly greatly appreciated last night.... and when nassar joined us after work, it got all the more fantastic!

we left ecp for a bit to fetch nassar from parkway parade... and decided to have our dinner at banquet... and shopped for some other snacks before we make our way back to ecp... somewhere further from carpark F!.. creepy place... so quiet... but it was a nice secludedandanticivilisation spot. but the snack shopping was also fun laaaa... spent almost an hour snack shopping ! believe it or not! cos we made jokes of every single thing we saw! laughing on and on about every single thing like mad hyenas! pretty juvenile of us i must say.... i mean for 24 year-olds... we were pretty unbecoming of our age! what made us laugh???

these stuff may not be funny looking... hell even i dunno why it was so funny anymore... but welll... we thought it was hilarious that there's chili sauce with the sotong and the cuttle fish... i mean who eats those with chili sauce!... and the name of that "amirah makam" ... like wtf! wat kinda name is that for a snack??? and anchovies??? just like that.. to be eaten as a snack... well that was pretty hilarious i guess... and that packet of candy with the clown on the packet... looks like someone ate some and sealed it back... and put for sale... like second hand candy... the packet is not even 3/4 full la!

well that's that... the point is: WE HAD SUPER SUPER FUN! A MEGABITCH OF A HELL OF FUN! and i thank them 4 and god for that.. because i needed that badly!

on a whole other topic now... i finished painting my room... i think by last tuesday... was fucking tiring but i did it... (and now it seems not to matter anymore that i painted the room... another story for another time)... but i like it la... the colour... although i didn't get the effect that i wanted... like instead of bringing about a sense of classy warm cosy feel... my room feels like a typical attempttobecreativebutnotsuccessfulatit Malay house... liek you know sometimes Malays like to paint their houses weird colours which turn out ugly???... i think my room is on the verge of being that.... but oh well.. what's done is done. guess this has been a super duper long entry and quasi long winded here.... so i'll sign out here! here's the before and after pics of my room>>>>>

*BEFORE* *AFTER*

BUMble bee

2007-06-05T14:56:00.000+08:00

me very very busy.painting my room.chestnut brown.yes very very dark.but i like.cozy.yummy.love.will blog when i have time.cause after my room.there will be the living room and dining room to work on.still no job.so i reckon i'd just start on this project.i'd forgotten how tiring it is to paint those goddam walls.bleargghh.but better now than during the fasting month.did that before.HELL.period.bye now.

*hung at THE VILLA BALI bar last night. great chilloutbar*

melancholic despondency

2007-06-01T17:33:00.000+08:00

I check my email eagerly every morning, right after I wake up... hoping that i'd get any form of response from anyone pertaining to jobs and internship programs that I have applied for. I have sent so many resumes out and there have been no replies at all. it is very frustrating for me. It's already June and I still have nothing to do. I don't understand it. I mean, even a rejection email would suffice for then i won't still be hoping and waiting and waiting like a nut head. The NCSS internship program is supposed to commence next monday and yet till today, I have received no responses... no email turning me down... nothing... they did not say that they will only contact those shortlisted and so I am still awaiting a response. Any fucking response will do! It is just driving me crazy that my inbox are constantly empty. I am so exasperated that I feel like just going away and forget about even trying some more. I am angry... but I don't really know who at. It's easier to be angry at someone else but I think I am really angry at myself... well for a lot of reasons. at this very moment, life really sucks... and it's not in those cliched way of saying... I mean it really really sucks. it sucks so bad it's not funny anymore

contented

2007-05-25T20:30:00.000+08:00

on the whole i did awesome for my exams. just a bit shy of what i was aiming to achieve but as long as i get to do my thesis, all's good. My overall CAP is now 3.98... yes 0.02 points away from my goal of 4.00! -_______-. for the semester alone i garnered a 4.3 which is great i guess... although no dean's list yet again, but i am thankful. A+ for race and ethnic relations, A for urban sociology, A- for Anthropology and the human condition, B+ for science, technology and society. and although quite expected, B- for popular culture in contemporary japan is still a pain. but that was not such a shock cos i know i did not do well for the exam.

i don't really know if i could really do a thesis yet because the pre requisites stated on the soci department webbie stated "a CAP of 4"... but the FASS webbie says either that or "SJAP of 4" (average points of major modules). i hope the latter applies too cause if not, i'll be screwed. wow... i cannot believe it but i am going into honours year. it will probably be hell but bring it on man! i'll take on the challenge!

immediate concerns: -get that damned internship -save money like crazy... just save every lil syilling... as much as possible (i dunno for what... but i want to have my huge savings back) -a holiday... or something like it -lose weight and start training for IPPT! (prolly for next feb... but i have to start now or risk doing RT!) -be happy... try to be happy... stop whining and to be more proactive -love myself

by the way, the weather is getting to me... dunno why but it was like a heatwave this afternoon. i actually sat in the car for a few minutes just to get some air conditioning... cause my house no air con mahhh.... no plans for the weekend but me being me, i don't mind hanging out at home. better that than being getting all sweaty outside (that's a contradiction though cos i do indeed need to sweat it out)

oh yah! another one for the list... plan section outing. miss 'em army mates of mine. it'll be a homecoming get together for CC also! and CC! tutor me in french ? for free? hahaha!

stuck

2007-05-23T16:55:00.000+08:00

i am not going to melbourne... flight booking cancelled... some accommodation changes came up... another internship opportunity... so yeah... i guess no melbourne... tremendously disappointed but oh well... all's not lost. i get to save the money instead... and shop! haha!... since i was so sad... and my slippers decided to snap last week... i got meself this................. a pair of havaianas from newurbanmale. i had been wanting to get those since i dunno... freshman year? hahaha... yeah... that long ago.. but got some reasons la why i didnt wanna get them..hehe... i wanted to get the normal thongs which was 29.90... but i was depressed so i think i should deserve these instead... at 49.90! MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA ! sinful spendin'!

went to send off my sis this morning... she's off to dubai now... for one month! what am i to do without her? no one to bug and make cry... no one to 'layan' my nonsense! borrrrriiiiinnnnnggggg.... anyway... i hope she has uber fun there. as for myself, i hope i get this internship... this time i really wanna get it.. not like the CDC one... cos i've bummed enough i think and i just wanna get my ass down doing something meaningful. since melbourne's a no go now, i'd better go earn some mooooolllaaaaaaaaahhhhhh for meself eh?! *friday's inching closer!!!*

melb-mate

2007-05-22T12:31:00.000+08:00

it's more likely that fiza is joining me to melbourne come july! and that is really exciting news! at least when my bro starts school late july, i have someone to spend time with... fiza! you'd better come along yaaaaa... don't give me high hopes only!

doomsday

2007-05-21T22:03:00.000+08:00

i can't wait for friday.

it is pathetic that grades matter so much to me.

but that's the way it is i guess.

i guess i can be anything too... cause i feel like i have never really gotten to be my real self much

2007-05-19T18:32:00.000+08:00

Do I attract you?

Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?

Am I too dirty?

Am I too flirty?

Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome

I could be loathsome

I guess Im a little bit shy

Why dont you like me?

Why dont you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly

But all her looks were too sad

So I try a little Freddie

Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown

I could be blue

I could be violet sky

I could be hurtful

I could be purple

I could be anything you like

Gotta be green

Gotta be mean

Gotta be everything more

Why dont you like me?

Why dont you like me?

Why dont you walk out the door!

How can I help it

How can I help it

How can I help what you think?

Hello my baby

Hello my baby

Putting my life on the brink

Why dont yo like me

Why dont you like me

Why dont you like yourself?

Should I bend over?

Should I look older just to be put on the shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly

But all her looks were too sad

So I try a little Freddie

Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown

I could be blue

I could be violet sky

I could be hurtful

I could be purple

I could be anything you like

Gotta be green

Gotta be mean

Gotta be everything more

Why dont you like me?

Why dont you like me?

Why dont you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself

But you only want what everybody else says you should want

I could be brown

I could be blue

I could be violet sky

I could be hurtful

I could be purple

I could be anything you like

Gotta be green

Gotta be mean

Gotta be everything more

Why dont you like me?

Why dont you like me?

Why dont you walk out the door!

Grace Kelly lyrics

=)

2007-05-18T17:47:00.000+08:00

raw! i don't like

2007-05-18T15:40:00.000+08:00

treated amirul to dinner at sakae sushi, marina square... initially the plan was just the two of us cos I couldn't be bothered to wait for the other two... but the night before that, hamsa called me to a game of bowling... had a couple of rounds at the orchid country club after tuition and we hung for a bit at the seletar dam. i missed bowling so much! but now my right shoulder is aching and my right ankle is well... sore again... as usual... i can't believe that my right ankle never recovered from the surfing injury at tasmania...i don;t wanna go to the doctor's la... although i think i should.. but i'll just suck the pain up. anyway.... i the sakar sushi cost me 50 bucks! three people ate 94 bucks worth of sushi and whatnots! wow! i felt totally broke after that!........... but it's okay la... i guess... hahahaha...

amirul and i went shopping after that while hamsa left for some appointment... well amirul did the shopping, i just looked... which sucked... cos i really hate it when other people get to shop and i dont! i just got to hold his clothes for him and get him the various fittings he needed! sheessshhh... but it's alright i guess... at least i get to go overseas.=)... we ended up at suntec city's starbucks while waiting for hamsa to come meet us again... amirul and i chatted for a bit... and we got to talking about why i've been the way i am lately... cos yeah, i have not really been myself... among other things, i just realised why i am so... it did not occur to me that that was the case but not trying to sound morbid or anything, i feel like i am going to die soon... and in a pretty scary way at that. i mean i know that we all start dying the day we were born.. but the thing is, i feel death coming for me... death seems pretty imminent these days... and i am really freaked out by that. i can't sleep at night cos i'm scared i won't wake up... i keep obsessing about how my biological systems might just choose to go haywire and I end up dying because of that... or if my heart just chooses to stop... just because it just chooses to do so... and i am scared of going to jog and exercise... cos i might just drop dead due to over exhaustion... and at this very moment, i feel my head throb a little and i wonder if that is prelude to stroke or something. i am driving myself crazy.

it is probably because of the recent deaths reported in the papers. so many young people passing on... death use to seem pretty much at a distant... well i know not all die at a ripe old age of 80 or so but you do believe somehow that you would reach that ripe age of 80 maybe... or at least when you are ready to die... knowing that you have pretty much done whatever you've wanted to do in life. I want to graduate and wear my gown and mortar board... i want to go on and do my masters... i want to take on permanent residency in melbourne...i want to get married and have kids of my own... i want that beautiful house with my own touch of interior designing... i want my parents to be able to spend my hard-earned money... there are so many things that i want and have yet to achieve, and so it scares the hell out of me that i feel like i am dying soon. i mean, i'm sure those youngsters who have died recently had similar dreams... and all that erased at just a blink of an eye. one minute you may be minding your own business in an army storeroom and the next minute you're dead from the impact of a plane crash... one minute you're camping, the next minute you are hanging on dear life, pinned under a tree... one minute you're driving on the freeway, the next minute a wreckage from an accident on the other side of the freeway comes hurtling through you windscreen.

i have become soooo aware of my surroundings... it is reminiscent of 'final destination'... so it is pretty depressing and stupid all at the same time... my paranoia is getting the better of me and that is pathetic. but the point is that this crazy fear is affecting me somewhat... and that sucks!.... humans are such vulnerable and fragile creatures

of dilemmas and fickle-mindedness and of being anti social

2007-05-15T15:41:00.000+08:00

the previous post didnt come out here... dunno why... blogger is being a pain la... anyway... i just wrote about how i've gotten the money to get myself an air ticket to melbourne... i am 99.8765776% going to Melbourne come july... thanks also partly to the gst offset package... 300 bucks! woohooo.... but at times i feel like i should just keep all this money and spend it on shopping or something... or on that long overdue capoeira lessons i told myself to take up since freshman year....or on an alternative holiday destination.... but oh well... i miss melbourne so muchhhhhh... anyway... my bro's damn ecstatic that i'm coming over.... and i miss my nieces... and sabbie too... haha... can't believe that but yeah.. i miss her as well... and i get to see my melb uni mates too.....whee... i was thinking of trying to look around for a job something that i could maybe take up after i graduate next june... so that instead of trying to work here in singapore to save up money for my masters fees... i could maybe work over at melbourne... then i can get myself settled in then... work my ass off.. save money like crazy... find meself a decent space to stay in... and hopefully i could do my masters soon after... it'll be swell if i could do a part time masters too i guess... we'll se how......... but my main concern right now is just to get out of singapore... and enjoy myself... walk myself around melbourne.. and just soak in all those terribly missed spots...

these few days.. since the past week or so i have been staying at home most of the time... i only go out to tutor... and i'll spend my time watching tv or the tvuplayer... and alluc.org is a lifesaver=)... i kinda unhappy with some of my close friends... so i kinda not miss them at all.. i dont even wanna see them... on top of that i get to save my money by lazing around at home... and yeah.. i've become kinda anti social lately... i just don't feel like meeting people right now... i really have no idea why.. suddenly, i feel like i am fine being alone... and i am fine being friendless... sheesh... i wonder what's happened to me... maybe one of the reasons is that i feel that my friends don't seem to bring me that kinda joy anymore... it's like i can't trust them anymore... i mean if your own best friends can make you feel so lousy about yourself..... hmmm... ah whatever la....... so yeap... right now i'm contented just staying at home... and basically just be a pig... it sucks also that the millions of resume sent out garnered no response at all... so i give up... i'll just depend on my tuition as my only source of income right now... and all that money will go towards my trip to melbourne... anti social yes i am, i know this is only towards my own detriment but like ellen degeneres always says... live the moment ... and i'm living it right now... at this moment i am fine with my life as it is... i am fine being alone and stuck at home... i am fine... everything's just fine and dandy thank you...

of dilemmas and fickle-mindedness

2007-05-14T20:23:00.000+08:00

melb-mope

2007-05-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

i am quite determined to go melbourne this july... maybe around july 7th and come back just in time for the start of honours year about one month later. it will prolly mean that my savings will totally be wiped out for good(?)... but i think i really wanna get away this break.. and since i really miss melbourne... always thinking about melbourne and talking and dreaming about melbourne... i think i shall make my way there... just to get out of this miserable singapore... it'll be winter by then... but i reckon i could still check out a lil bit of the surf breaks... and practice my surfing again... thank god for wetsuits.

i just need to come up with prolly about a thousand bucks or so for the flight... no worries for lodging cos i can bunk in with my bro... and food... well he's working... haha... and he did say food will be free for me too! haha... and there's always the 2 dollar fish and chips at crown casino... and well i can certainly make do with lesser food intake........ i won't aim to shop... lest i really find something i really dig! haha... so really... i just need to worry about airfare right now... i sorta have half the airfare now... and hopefully i could get the rest in time to get meself an air ticket to melbourne!................................... i hope this will materialise.... i really need this before the onslaught of an expected treacherous fourth year... and to think that the next long break i'd have would be me frantically seeking a job and getting intimate with the bitch-of-an-arse-real-world...........

at my lowest low

2007-05-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

i dunno why i am feeling kinda touchy these few days... i think that i've been getting too many reactions from people about my hair... none good... it's alrite if my hair's ugly... cos i'm ugly anyway... i wouldn't have minded bad comments about my hair or anything about me usually but not right now... cos i'm going thru a lot right now such that i am barely holding on to the last threads of self esteem and of self dignity... so i decided to take down that stupid post on my haircut... change has never gone down well with people around me. i dunno why... i guess people experience that all the time... i never do things right it seems... i feel like shit but nah, i'm not blaming anyone... it is just myself to blame cos i really just can't handle all these petty and trivial stuff at the moment. i guess people would usually appreciate honesty but sometimes, lies can be beautiful to the ears too... actually people don't have to lie... they've just gotta let me down a li'l bit gentler... especially those whom have never heard a "what's up with that..." from me before.

BLOGTHINGS

2007-05-02T12:31:00.000+08:00

You Are Batman

Billionaire playboy by day. Saving the world by night. And you're not even a true superhero. Just someone with a lot of expensive toys!

What Superhero Are You?

You Are a Sensitive Kisser

For you, kissing is a way to connect And you need lot of care, attention, and privacy It may take you a while to kiss someone... But when you do, it's total fireworks

You Are 60% "Average American"

You are average because you donate to charity. You are not average since you don't think affirmative action is necessary.

How "Average American" Are You?

i'm supposed to be studying... but got inertia la... and i thought i'd just do these silly quizzes... cos fiza just did one and i realised that i have never had one on my blog... i'm just bored to death... i want exams to be over and done with...

4 down and still TWO more to go

2007-04-27T18:40:00.000+08:00

i am trying to hang in there... never in my nus life have i ever had such a long examination period and the maximum number of exams i have ever taken in one semester has never been more than 4 and i have never had to do two papers in one day... this semester i start on the first day of the examination period and ends on the second last day... i have two days where i have to sit two papers... back to back... so i dunno... i think i have the right to complain yeah?

but oh well... i have two more left to go through ... next friday, 4th may... science, technology and society in the morning and genes and society in the afternoon. the three soci papers i think i did pretty okay... but today... the japanese studies module... well... it sucked. the worse thing is that i think the paper was not that difficult... it was easy and that made it difficult... does it make sense? its a just a level two module thing la... i dunno... i hate level two modules. it was open book... and the questions were pretty straight forward and the answers were, i guess, pretty obvious. and there's the problem... when answers are obvious... i went on thinking... that can't be! and then i make things complicated and then i got all confused and an easy task turned out to be difficult... and just before the exam just now, we got back our project group term paper, got a lousy B... damn disappointing but pretty much expected but that still sucks...............................................................i dunno la... but i think... well there goes my 4.0...there goes my dream of getting into the dean's list ever... there goes my chance to do a honours thesis... there goes my masters at melb uni... there goes my future.. there goes my life.

but i guess i shall stay on the positive side and just try do my best for the rest of my papers and what's done is done... and i think it is pathetic that my life seems to be controlled by my grades and performance in school... and i am 24... and that makes it all the more pathetic!

+++++++++++

2007-04-17T11:30:00.000+08:00

I know i'm not supposed to be blogging... because i am supposed to be studying! but i need an outlet! i dunno who to tell so i thought i'd just express my ecstasy here! the mid term paper which i sincerely thought i was gonna flunk... that urban sociology which had really been a pain in the butt... the one which i thought would at best only be a B... well i got an A+... yes... not a C, not B, not even an A- or an A... which would have been awesome! ... but an A+!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt that i wrote crap and i got an A+??? what the fuck!... but hey i am very very happy... and so urban sociology is definitely not a lost cause yet! okay... gotta go back to studying now! i'm on cloud nine people!!! =)

parçe que je suis stressé

2007-04-15T16:48:00.000+08:00

I miss speaking in french... i hate it that I don't get to practice my french... so karat my french! what a waste... and I really want to sign up for capoeira laaa... been dying to do that since freshman year and still haven't got to it!... it's all about the money money money... but i hope to do it soon! i'm already 24 ! i have to start at it soon man!

I have been busy so i haven't had the time to blog! but i am kinda tired of reading about cities and urbanism and urbanisation... so i thought i'd just blog for a bit.

well let's see... since the last post, i managed to finish the damned report and the project proposals. I went for the CDC interview, presented my evidently brief and superficial proposals... the interview went well i must say. I hated the fact that I had to spend money to get a pair of black shoes for the interview... a pretty cheap pair but still money forked out... although i must say they look good! haha... right now, i dunno if i really want the CDC internship or not... seems like it will be an uphill task ahead... and worse still, i won't get to rest this coming break... i've been telling everyone to pray for me that i won't get it! haha

I collected my term papers! i got a lousy, though pretty much expected B+ for Science, Tech and Society term paper. Sociologically analysing cybersex is not an easy feat! haha... but its not too shabby... I got an A for my popular culture in contemp jap reaction paper! woohoo! although that's only 10 % but hey it still made my day!... BUT i am damnnnnn proud of my race and ethnic relations paper! I got an A for the paper itself!!!! A+ for the interview conducted! and A for the chosen public representation used for analysis in the paper! I was soooooo elated! I really needed that to motivate me to study really hard for the looming examinations. Dr. Ho gave the class back our midterms last friday at lect... i had been anticipating that the most cos i believe i wrote crap for that one... but i just wanna noe how i did so i would have an idea of how i should really prepare for the exams. but alas... friday the 13th had its curse effected on me that day... apparently ten of us didn't have our papers because he apparently left a pile at home... so his wife was on her way to bring the papers to us... so we had to wait a little bit after class to collect them at his office. when his wife finally came with the papers, the papers were not marked and graded yet!!!!!!!! HORRORness! now i have to make my way to school sometime next week to collect the midterm paper. Hopefully it won't be a C! or it will just piss me off! i need to make this sem work for me... i really want... no i NEED to do a thesis so my cap of 4.0 is very very important! my whole future depends on that! really... cos if not, I won't get to do my masters at melb uni... and there goes all my plans for the future

i guess i'll get back to the readings... i have to finish this couple of readings then I would have completed all the readings needed to be done for the first three papers!!! so tomorrow and for the rest of next week, I'll be able to get down to really STUDYING... cos past exams, studying meant finishing up the readings that had been left untouched throughout the semester but it is different this sem! and i am damn proud of myself! so yeah... i can't wait to get down to doing all those mind mapping and real revision next week... guess I won't be blogging until after the 4th of May... so wish me luck ya'll!

up, up and away!

2007-04-06T10:59:00.000+08:00

What a bloody beautiful morning it is today! I wish I were at the beach right now! But I just woke up, plus I've got tonnes of work to do today... so beach is completely out of question... man i am sounding like that beach bummer called fiza! weeoowwwness

I wanted to sleep early last night, cos i decided not to do anything last night and hopefully i will get to do a lot today... the cdc internship project proposals due come monday is bugging the hell out if me. i just don't know where to start. yesterday i didn't sleep well... i couldn't sleep knowing someone's pissed with me. i deserve it i guess. maybe i am a two faced bastard indeed. I am really sorry about it okay, but it was never my intention to be a pain. wow... then if she still thinks that i'm a pain, and i didn't consciously try to be one...that just means that I am innately a pain...being a pain is the essence of my being... and ummm... that sucks. but oh well, we can't please everybody in the world right... and i'm not perfect...i'm merely human, and if some out there think that I'm unworthy as a friend, i guess it's no one's loss... I'm sure you have a great life outside of school... a nice family to come home to... a lovely bunch of friends whom you could count on to and you know what? i have that too... it's just sad that things turned out this way... i'd never thought that it'd ever come to this. i hate the idea that someone's hating me right now... but if i keep focusing on and thinking about all the time,i 'll be a wreck... it;s bad enough that I dreamt about it last night... it was ugly... but oh well... i gotta let go and think about all the love i've been getting and that i've taken for granted!

THE SUN DAMN BRIGHT CAN! hahahaha... i feel like going down to school to do my work... maybe i'll be productive there... but school is such a loooooooooong way and wat a slob i've become! i can drive to school and even that has become such a chore! maner tak badan semakin membuak! HAHAHA... my sister very mean... the other time i was singing along to this song on the radio la... got one part... something like... beeebrraappp bbeeebrrrraappp...beeebrrrraap... then she followed suit.. but she said... baabatbeerraattt....baabaatbbeeerraatttt...BABAT BERAT! the audacity cik nor! i hate you! but i love you!hahaha... yes i know i've grown soooo big... like a whale!... imagine myself sun tanning or something!... i will really look like a beached whale! hahaha... but i'm still fly! and i'm cuddly! hahaha

i never really took count but i think it's been two weeks that I've not had a single puff. i guess I can really quit for good now... but it'll be hard when i'm around them homies la... how to not smoke when they're all puffing away? note to self: don't be a puss... have some self restraint and quit smoking for good! and no... it's not thanks to the stupid anti smoking campaign... that ad you see on tv... the "i... have ...oral cancer... if i hadn't i wouldn't be needing... cheemoo thhhheeerraapy..."hahaha... i just laugh everytime i see it! i don't know why!... it looks so fake and she looks as if she's in real pain but only because someone's poking a needle up her arse! hahaha... but okay the point is i want to quit smoking! i have to! i need to! then i can have more money to spare... and not subject myself to the possible different diseases! i have a heart murmur condition some more!... and am still smoking... although i don't think they're related... but well i think it's time to quit... for good! and don't all you mofos be all generous and buy me a pack of ciggies just so i could puff my life away with you guys yeah! wonderful friends i have... they want me to start dying away with them... well at a faster rate that it... i mean... we are all dying right... like they say.. we start dying the moment we're born... how's that for a moral booster! live life to the fullest!

i am feeling like giving up on the internship program right now> but i know that i'll never hear the end of it from fiza... she'll prolly decide to wear one of her rare heels next time we meet and knock my head with those if she knows i blatantly let this one internship go! hahaha... or even worse! her wedges! makk.... itu tapak! scaredness!!!! CDC! WHY?! WHY NEED PROJECT PROPOSALS! I'M CLUELESS ! and i have to study! and a final report to do! WOE IS ME!.

i shall stop here i guess... and go get some work done! byeeeeebyeeeeeee!

PEACE OUT YA'll!

Singaporeans are friendly!

2007-03-31T19:22:00.000+08:00

At Old Chang Kee, Junction 8 outlet

hungry me: Hi aunty, could I have one 'Sardine-O' and one 'Sotong stick' please? (*smiles*)

Old Chang Kee Aunty: .........................(*takes a paper bag and with a pair of tongs, takes a Sardine puff and places that inside the bag*)

hungry me:............................(*waits*)

Old Chang Kee Aunty: (*takes a small, clear plastic bag...*) which one??? the head or the body??? (*waiting for my response impatiently*)

hungry me:... Huh?...ohhh.... give me the body one please...

Old Chang Kee aunty: ......(*takes a sotong stick, proceeds to the cash register...*) 2 dollar twenty cent!(*no eye contact with 'hungry me'*)

hungry me:........ (*gives exact anount and takes the puff and sotong stick from the counter*)... Thank you! (*smiles*)

Old Chang Kee Aunty:.....................(*does not bother looking at 'hungry me'... talks to fellow Old Chang Kee aunty*)................................................................................

At NTUC Fairprice supermarket, Junction 8

me: (with a toothbrush, a tap fastener, a mozzie repellant, walks to the cashier, smiles at the cashier...) Hi!

cashier: (looks bored...stares at the counter as 'me' places things on the counter)......................................................................... (checks out the toothbrush, tap fastener and mozzie repellant)...................................

me:..............................(waits)

cashier: member?....

me: nope...(hands over POSB ATM card) cashier: (processes the payment, hands back card and receipt to 'me')

me: Thank you! (cheerfully)

cashier:.........................................................................................................................................................

At Edo Sushi counter in NTUC Fairprice, Junction 8

craving-for-sushi-me: Hi! (smiles to cashier and places sushi on counter)

cashier:...........................................(staring down, attempting to tie her scarf).....................................

craving-for-sushi-me: (waits)..................... (waits)............

cashier: (still at her scarf)

craving-for-sushi-me:............(waits)..............

cashier: (still at her scarf... then uses one of her hands to start at the cash register....)

craving-for-sushi-me:(sees the amount on the cash register and pays in cash... waits for change)

cashier: (gives change.... still no eye contact with 'craving-for-sushi-me')

craving-for-sushi-me: (gets back change)... Thank you!

cashier: (turns away... adjusts her scarf)

At Safeway supermarket, QV

Cashier: Hi! how you going! (in cheerful tone)

Hafiz: Hi! I'm good thank you! (smiles broadly)

Cashier: (checks out the stuff Hafiz placed on the counter)...It's really hot today eh?! The heat's just getting to me!... cashout?

Hafiz: Yeah I know! unbearable! Nah... no cashout(hands Cashier payment)

Cashier: (processes payment) another day like this i'll die!(laughs, as Cashier hands Hafiz change and receipt)

Hafiz: (takes change and receipt, laughs along)... Thank you! (still smiling)

Cashier: (smiles) you have a good day ahead yeah!

Hafiz: Yeah Thank you! you too yeah!

At Uni of Melbourne, History Department

Hafiz: Hey Hi! How you going?

Lady at counter: I'm fine thank you! it's really windy out there yeah? It is so windy that it makes me a li'l grumpy today! (Laughs)

Hafiz: (Laughs) Oh yeah! my hair's all over the place now! but it's nice... I mean at least the temp's gone down a little...

Lady at counter: yeah I reckon so...(smiles)... what can I do for you today darl?

Hafiz: Oh i'm supposed to collect a term paper from the department... do i get it from here?

Lady at counter: Oh! it's just at the tables in front of the elevators! (smiles)

Hafiz: Oh really? I didn't notice them there! Thank you so much!

Lady at counter: (Laughs) No worries!

At DFO, Essendon, Puma Boutique

Hafiz: (Just browsing around)

Saleslady: Hey! that's a nice puma bag you've got there mate!

Hafiz: Oh yeah?! You like it? My friends got it for me!

Saleslady: Yeah! Looks real good! I don't think I've seen that one before!

Hafiz: Yeah? I guess they don't have them here... this one's from Singapore!....................(conversation ensues)

At Kmart, Cambellfield

Cashier: Hi! How you going matey? Hafiz: I'm good thank you! yourself?

Cashier: I'm alriiiiggghtt! (smiles, checks out kit kat cookie dough, gift box...etc...) Oh! I love this Kit Kat! (Laughs)

Hafiz: Oh yeah? I've never tasted it before! looks nice...(smiles)

Cashier: It really is good!... Any cash out for you today matey?

Hafiz: (hands over payment) Nah...

Cashier: (takes payment, gives change and receipt) There you go matey!... See ya!

Hafiz: Thanks mate!

and people wonder why I wanna migrate +____________________________+

what is your deepest darkest fear?

2007-03-30T11:26:00.000+08:00

I was watching csi vegas two nights ago. it was hell. i t was really torturous for me. yes, i am a man. but men do cry. i almost cried because i could picture myself in nick stokes position. He was kidnapped by this revengeful psycho...who decided to drug nicky and bury him alive in a plexi glass coffin. he left nicky with a gun, some lightsticks and a tape recorder. for those who've seen that episode, the part when nicky woke up to discover he was stuck in the hell hole... and then when he went on convulsing and crying and screaming... i'd done the same. i'd really prolly say my last prayers and shoot myself. I am claustrophobic. i am very very claustrophobic and to be buried alive like that. my god... just thinking about it right now, my heart's beating so fast...

the plexi-glass began to crack later on as the weight of the soil began to take its toll on the coffin... and red ants... RED ANTS! began to make their way onto nicky... all over his body... imagine... colonies of ants... red ants... biting you all over your body and trying to burrow into your nostrils and ears. that was really unpleasant to see. but it would have been worse if the coffin was invaded by snakes. I am terrified of snakes. I am very very terrified of snakes.

confined spaces and snakes. my deepest darkest(pun intended) fear.

but he was saved finally by his csi colleagues! and boy was nicky crying like a baby eager to get out of the coffin...although he could not just yet cos there was a bomb under that coffin which will be triggered by the lack of pressure exerted by nicky's weight. i would have cried like a baby too. i was so angry at the psycho who did that to him. i dont understand why people would subject other human beings to that. you guys might think "oh come on hafiz! it's bloody fictitious!"... but then again, it is something someone is capable of doing okay... and i'm sure someone must have done that to someone else before

anyway i decided to skip anthro lect today... lazy la... it's quite boring lah actually... still at home now... but i will go to school anyways for urban lecture... which i have been religiously skipping... cos that lecture is super boring as well. but i think i should go today... too much skipping already... and if i fail to do well for the exams because i don;t attend the lectures, i will kick myself so hard that i will prolly cut my legs off for having kicked myself so hard in the first place... then i'm staying in school to mug! hahha... well not really mug lah... i just want to finish off my race and ethnic relations readings... i want to finish up all the readings before 'reading week' (haha how ironic)... so that i could really prepare for the exams... unlike the past semesters when preparing for the exams meant finishing up all the readings that i;ve lagged behind in... i just wanna be better prepared this sem... considering my important papers are within the first three days of the start of the exams... anthro and race on the same day! weooow! and urban on the 21st! the first paper! so yeah... i shan't panic. i will endeavor to do well this semester and for that i will have to start studying now! so prolly will be in skool till 10 ish or so... or i might have to watch survivor in skool! then i'd be going home at 12! weooowww! hahaha...

i gotta go now!!!!!!! see ya'll!!!

i swear i'll make ya'll extinct one day!

2007-03-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

Mozzies, mosquitoes, nyamoksssss... benda jahanam! my room is infested with these, literally, blood suckers! seriously, suck all the blood you want but don't fucking make me itch! wat the hellllll is the matter with you guys! go clean your proboscis first la! before you feed on me! sheeeeeesshhhhh u guys! u bloody flying bastards!how to make them extinct ah? i mean i don;t think it will affect some sort of ecological chain or something right? cos i mean... they feed on human blood and who wants to eat mosquitoes siak? hmmm... but only the females feed on human blood... ya'll damn bitches!... what do the male mosquitoes do? anyone who knows... and who has nothing better to do... holler at me yeah!... then maybe we could together find a way to get rid of all these pests... so insignificant right? wat sey eat blood? so demented... same la with the kutus and ticks and bed mites... vampires... sanitary pads................

okay... the last one uncalled for la... but i could not get the image out of my head! i just read a blog... syima's (syima's one of my jap tute mate) and she had this pic taken of an overflowing sanitary pad bin... that was alrite la.. then she showed another pic she took some time before... and i could see it was a macdonald's restroom... a jamban aka toilet bowl... trickling with blood! which culminated on the floor... with a red fleshy thing in a mass of red fluid........ and yes syima... i am staying away from strawberry sundae toooo after seeing that... forever!!!!!!!!! that was the ultimate grossest thing i've ever seen in my life!......................anyway, not being dramatic or wat la... but the mozzies are really annoying... just needed to let a bit of that steam off... i am supposed to be doing my race and ethnic relations paper... i'm 3/4 done... and when i'm close to finishing, i will always ...ALWAYS... put it on hold... it's like an inertia... its like i noe i'm gonna be done with it but i just won't get it done as yet... again.. sado masochistic... cos guess wat? i get a kick from rushing through the paper just before the deadline...knowing that i could have gotten it over and done with wayyyyyyy before that. hahaha... gile

speaking of gile... i miss them gile friends of mine!i'm watching teeveee over doing my paper... and teevee hasn't even got anything nice on right noe... i am so retarded ... anyway, i shall not whine... although i am feeling it coming.. hahha... but no i won't

i thought i'd have something cheerful to write about here... but no i don't... so i guess i'll log off now before i start being all mopey. cos being mopey sucks... and i shouldn't subject ya'll to my mopey-nesssss... so have a good one ya'll...whatever it is la... a good nite.. a good weekend... a good week ahead.. a good month ahead... a good year ahead... a good life ahead..........................anyway here are some random pics of my officially declared pep*k/pussy face by fiza... fiza says i have this pep*k/pussy face whenever i pose for her camera......... oh well... i think it's cute. HAHAHAHAHA

of binge eating and essay writing

2007-03-18T18:59:00.000+08:00

i feel really sick right now... cos i had been binge eating... as always... how do u ppl think i got so fat? yes i think i have a disease... i eat not because i'm hungry... its usually like an itch that i have to scratch... it gets worse when i am stressed out like i am now... term papers... it can be really a pain... especially trying to start of an essay... it can be quite frustrating... anyway... i think i need help... how ar? my binge eating is getting out of control... i really can't stop myself until i feel really sick like i do right now... and then i get all irritable and useless...then i start feeling hot.. and sweaty... and i feel like barfing. when i go on a food binge, i eat something sweet... and then something not sweet... and then something sweet... followed by something not sweet... it's really weird. its like i have to erase the sweet taste in my mouth with something... and then i feel like i have to have that sweet taste back in my mouth after i have erased that sweet taste in my mouth in the first place... u guys get it? i think i'm crazy like that.

it's a sunday thing la... i always do this on sundays... when i'm not out... and i'm trying to finish up my school assignments...and then when i'm out of inspiration i go get myself some food and stuff my face... stuff and stuff and stuff... till i get all weird in the tummy. gym sessions go down the drain just like that cos i don't bother watching my diet. i dunno...i am just too stressed out to get into the zone of watching what i eat and all... watching ur diet is not easy la... i mean i used to be able to do it... but it takes sheer determination and perseverance and right now, i have no space in my being for that. i only have the energy and will to obsess about school... and about my grades. i noe i've said it here before... but really... i think my decision to go on and do my honours year is not such a great idea. it is really stressing me out i feel like bursting. people don't know that... they think i'm just being stressful as always... i mean... normal la right... nus... second half of sem... very stressful... but no... it's totally different right now. it is very very different. and what makes it worse is that i dont think there is anyone i noe that can make me feel better about the current situation i am in... i dont think there is anyone i noe who can really feel what i feel... i mean its not their fault... cos sometimes it is really hard to empathize... i am sure everyone has ever felt like no one could really understand what they're going through... i am going through that... and school is not the only thing that's going on in my life... i have other things to think about. and i'm just tired. i really didn't want this entry to be whiny like this but i guess i can't help it... i need an outlet right now and this happens to be the best thing i could find right now. i'm tired of giving my all... i'm tired of competing... i'm tired of having to worry and obsess about whether i'm gonna come out successful in this academic battle. NUS is really wearing me out...my life is wearing me out.

i need something exciting in my life... something new and refreshing... i feel like i haven't lived yet... you know what i mean? it's like all my life, it has been about studying...study study study...it is fucking boring after a while... i dunno... i mean i guess i don't mind doing sociology.. it is really fun and intriguing... i love doing all the research and doing the papers... but what takes out the fun and enjoyment of doing sociology research papers is constantly having to pressure myself into making sure that whatever i write will make it count towards an A grade. and that is super not fun la. why do i continue subjecting myself to this? it is almost sado-masochistic of me. maybe i should just let go..... let go of all the worries and pressures of needing to excel.... maybe i should just take a deep breath and just go with the flow.... maybe Bs are good enough... maybe...maybe maybe maybe...

because you're immature

2007-03-08T17:25:00.000+08:00

i actually wrote a paragraph long piece about someone who is being a real pain in the arse... and i was gonna write abt a nus shuttle bus drivers who is retarded and demented in the head... but i'm tired and feeling frustrated about these things by blogging will just drain the little traces of energy in my being right now.

firstly, my project members have now stepped it up and i'd say that they're really a fun bunch! minus one prickette... who pricks you in the ass so bad you could feel the pain reverbrating through your rectal muscles all the way to your bladder... so anyway yeah... its the second half of the semester and that could only mean one thing... HELL. especially so when you are doing six modules. i can say i'm pretty proud of myself tho.. cos i have managed to keep up with my readings... and so studying for the exams won;t be so bad la. genes and society lecture was the last one just now and so i have my mondays and thursdays 2-4 freee! woohoooo... which is bombin'ly awesome... now that some of my time has been freed up, i can use that to do my term papers religiously so as to meet the impeding deadlines! and anyway the lecturer just now gave answers to the midterm.. and i reckon i've only got 20 plus questions correct out of 40. sheesh.. luckily i decided to photocopy the text book... cos i was so blur abt wat was happening in the module!... i think if i hadnt i would have done even more badly... but the questions were really tricky la... i thought i did pretty well.. but ummm... i did a lot of mistakes.... luckily S/U liao... and if i get an UNSATISFACTORY i'd go shoot myself la.

had to go to skool by public transportation today cos the car was unavailable... and class started at 8 this morning... and i was late. had to spend 6 bucks from clementi interchange to nus on cab fare... and that sucked... another 8 am class tomoro morning... bleeearrgghhh... and its schmidt, who is bloody boring... his voice is droning and weird... and he likes to speak... and hardly gives usthe chance to talk...even during tutorials...

so much abt school... hmmm.. oh i'm still broke... and that sucks... i went to catch dreamgirls with fathiyah on tuesday with the free movie vouchers i got from singtel... watched it at the shaw house... or shaw towers...??? aiyah i always get them mixed up laaaa.. the one on beach road la... with sofra in it... anyway.. was my first time there... no people la.. but weeoooww damn old la... and so ulu the cinema... big but... so old fashioned... and musky! yuck... but the movie was pretty good... altho i felt that jennifer hudson soon began screaming rather than singing half the show...powerful pipes, but singing is quite different from screaming lor

i dunno what to write anymore... cos i think i wanna stop blogging now... so many things in my head... so much stuff to do.. and i gotta to get them done now.... so later ya'll

under pressure

2007-03-01T23:51:00.001+08:00

i really wanna go melbourne this winter la... my mum keeps telling me i should go and visit my bro... i really want to but no money so how? suck thumb la

and i miss tasmania... and i wanna drop by sydney... i miss all those friendly aussies... the cashiers at the safeway and coles... the sales people... the buskers... i miss the 'ding' of the trams and the graffiti on every single available wall... i miss the suburbs and the warm suburban residents... i miss the weather and really really miss having to chase for the train or risk waiting for an hour for the next one... i miss melbourne... you'd think after more than 2 months back home, i'll get over melbourne... but i haven't and that sucks...

it sucks that i keep whining about wanting to be in melbourne... it sucks that i don't get to go there anytime soon... it sucks to be in NUS... it sucks to have sucky project members... it sucks to be alone at school... it sucks not to have money... especially when you think you actually have a lot to spare but you really don't and then ending up spending waaaaayyyyy over your means... it sucks to not have someone special in life... it sucks that the car park at NUS are no longer free... it sucks that i have deadlines coming up... it sucks that i think my house is haunted! hahaha... well life sucks like that la.................................

i really want a cap of 4.5 again this semester... it's ok if i don't make it to the dean's list... just a 4.5 please... it is really taking a toll on me... or maybe not... especially when i know things will get done if i reduce my time watching tv... but tv's real good lah right now... it always is this time of the year... new seasons and all... sheesh.

cause my pocket wasn't deep enough

2007-02-23T19:43:00.000+08:00

so its been a while since my last update... and yes fazzie, i really want to updat ebut i just aint got the time! anyway... since my last entry on my birthday, many things have gone on actually. hamsa, amirul, fath and razi took me to newton circus to have dinner.. i had a great time! and it was nice lepaking at the new quiet place amirul and I had stumbled upon one saturday night when we were out just the two of us... roaming streets in singapore that were foreign to us and as we discovered national monuments at midnight, we later on stumbled upon this great spot to just lepakk ah... at a quiet corner... with chairs and tables chained together, but sit-able nonetheless... betol relek one corner one la... and most important of all... got free parking space! hmmm lemme think what else i did............................................................................ i think other than that, it was pretty much skool... i'm determined to really keep up with my readings this semester so that i won;t be so kanchiong when exam comes later in april. so yeah... did a lot of readings.. and gym... although as of today.. i think i;ve missed 3 gym sessions... or four? hahha... but hey, i had good excuses for missing them yeah!

fetched my parents from the airport the sunday after my birthday... and my dear lil fazzie got me a birthday present... which i am totally in love with! she'd asked me a couple of days before what i wanted for my bithday but i just told her to surprise me... and it was a wonderful surprise indeed!

which totally led me to just stare anguishly at this......

i miss surfing so much i can die! everytime i think abt surfing and how i long to go ride the waves, fiza's words will come right back into my head..." ARE YOU SURE YOU DON;T WANT TO SURF SOME MORE? SURF SOME MORE LA...LATER GO BACK SINGAPORE NO MORE CHANCE!".... but i was tired lah that time.. and i just sprained my ankle... yeah.. i surfed even after i sprained my ankle... and my ankles are killing me right to this day.... but yeah... i miss surfing... i wish i could find some time to go cherating this break and check out the surf breaks... that will be totally bombin!

enough Already abt the surfing... the rest of the week after my birthday was quite uneventful... until friday, when i heard that my cousin got badly hurt in a motorcycle accident... he ended up in hospital with a badly broken leg and arm... still in hospital but i guess he;s recuperating well...

on sunday... yes... first day of CNY, i took up a job as a kitchen hand at ulu ulu restaurant in night safari... i was supposed to work there for three days... 2pm to 10 pm... as casual labor because they needed manpower during the holidays... i have had experience in the fnb business and my desperation for extra cash led me to forget how i'd sworn not to ever go into fnb anymore a few years ago when i was working at the restaurant in the zoological gardens ( yes... seems like i have affinities to working at animal residences.. hahahha). ANYWAY...i did drag myself down that sunday afternoon to the night safari... and found bus number 138 packed liek crazy la.... here's the interesting thing... it was packed with our fellow chinese, donned in their red outfits... carrying their lil paper bags with oranges in them.... heading to the zoo... i would never have thought that they have relatives at the zoo la.... hahha... but i guess looking at animals beats visiting the relatives yeah.

so upon meeting chef chong the head chef at ulu ulu restaurant... seriously the name irritates the hell out of me... we were told to change up into these chef uniforms!... white top.. black pants.. with a long black apron, a lil, neck scarf and a white forage cap. felt pretty good i must say.. like as if i;m working for jamie oliver la! hahahahhaha!... but oh dear god... the three days were pretty unbearable... the chefs were mostly aloof and stuck up... and seems like they don;t really like the idea of us casual laborers to be there at all... like they couldn;t find any use with us... which relaly frustrated the hell out of me can... like when i'm assigned to a particular chef... he'll be like giving me this strange look... like as if he doesnt have a clue as to what to do with me... cos well.. afterall, i am not a chef, i am not even a cook... so i'm pretty useless i guess... but hey.. you guys apparently needed help so get me soemthing to do la!... some of the cooks there were pretty nice... and showed me around.. like where to get the stuff.. what to do and so on.. the head chef was generally nice but he can be a real pain sometimes... from abt 5 onwardsi had to look after the buffet... and that sucks... i never liked doing that... doing that for five hours was dambn tiring... but to cut the story short, i survived the three days ... and earned myself 150 bucks. i was so happy to wake up tuesday morning.. cos it was last day of work... but work started off to a bad start cos apparently i left my fone on the bus... i think it dropped out of my pocket which was probably not deep enough. that sucked la... i was thinking,,, wah.. i;m getting 150 bucks only to have to use that money to buy a new phone???.... but wat was really sad was that i lost all my pictures and videos in the phone....i tried to see if amk interchange had my fone... but they dont la.. so i'll just haev to suck it up la eh.

but on a brighter note..i got a new phone... and i didnt pay a single cent for it... haha...

actually any fone will do just fine... and so since this one was 0 dollars... i just grabbed it la... and it turns out to be an awesome phone.. loves it!

so after all that excitement, i had to study for my midterm test which was this afternoon at 2... when i looked at the questions i was like... DIE DIE DIE!... i scriblled my way thru it... i dunno how i did la... but i did have a hard time doing the paper... but all's done... it was too economics la! urban sociology... hopefully i'd do better for the exams.. when it's more sociological i hope!... this is 30 percent.. which is pretty substantial... so i hope i wont do too badly for it.... i have heaps of other things to so la... my transcription of the interview that i did for my race relations module... my reaction papers... and to study for my next midterm test! genes and society... i am lost la for this module... thats wat i get for skipping lectures la... but i have S/U ed it... so the pressure;s not too great i guess.... i relaly hope i can do really well this sem la... i wanna be in the dean;s list... just for once, i want to have my name up on that list!

so i guess that's that for this entry... its the end of the midterm break... of which it was pretty much break-less for me... and next week.. it'll be the endless struggle to meet deadlines and battle my way through the readings and face the toughest examinations yet in NUS. i noe i'll get thru this... i just have to keep my focus. so till my next entry ya'll!

the big 24?

2007-02-08T22:26:00.000+08:00

i turn 24 today. no parents around... sad.. but it's alrite cos the number of birthday wishes i got made my day. and it was a good end to my birthday as i had a late dinner with FIZA AND SURESH at swensen's. it was a simple and brief but thoroughly meaningful birthday celebration and i got a new nike t shirt! with a really cute card! thank you u two! spending time with fiza and suresh made me realise how seldom i see them in school this semester!... i dunno.. i mean last time.. even if we dont meet in between classes, i'll prolly see them at the end of the day when they took a ride in my car. this semester no more la.. cos they stay in pgp... and apparently, our timetables totally clash... i hardly get to see the two of them the whole week! taking six modules is really no joke la.. and because i have to do tuition almost every other day after school.. and the gym sessions....sigh... i miss u two la! hahah weird cos i just met these two people! hahahha!

i'm really tired now so i'm gonna get some rest ... tomorrow last day of the week... AWESOME! and anyway... group projects suck big time la.i'm so tired to have to be the one to step it up everytime.

friends for life

2007-02-07T00:56:00.000+08:00

sometimes i forget how much my friends love me. that occasional warm and tight hugs feel really good. reminds you of how much your friends love you and really treasure your friendship. to know that they can't do without you... its a nice feeling. Thank you my dear mateys for being the beautiful souls that you guys are and for knowing me inside out and loving me in spite of my inadequacies and flaws, and for that, i accept and appreciate you guys for who u guys are. those 11 years of friendship has not been just that bu it has developed into a bond between us that is unbreakable till the end of our brief lives. fathiyah, amirul and hamsa! you guys are my rock and i love the three of you so much you have no idea how much.

great ocean road pictures

2007-02-03T19:03:00.000+08:00

i promised great ocean road pictures... long over due... but i've got some free time at hand so here goes... maybe next time i'll put up more melbourne fotos and hopefully those from tasmania la... and a picture of me with my surfboard! :))))))

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"try harder next time"

2007-02-03T09:46:00.000+08:00

"TRY HARDER NEXT TIME" ...HAHAHA.... thats what it says at the bottom of my ippt result slip

waahahhaha1 i dunno whether i'm supposed to cry or to just laugh my head off. I just came back from ippt abt an hour ago and guess what? i didnt noe i could outdo myself the last time i did my ippt. yeah.. i've managed to prove to myself that it is possible to get 4 points for ippt. standing broad jump: 0 points, sit ups: 0 points, chin up: 0 points, 2.4 km run: 0 points ... and shuttle run: 4 POINTS! hahahhah! and i didnt try to do well for the shuttle run la... 0.1 sec off for gettin five points. its really funny that i can sprint really fast even when i'm fat la.... has always been so... bloody weird.

but oh well... i did expect to fail la.. i've been starting to go to gyms about 3 weeks ago... twice a week with nassar... but of cos, that wouldnt have able to prepare me for this ippt la... but i just wanna make it a regular thing ya noe... like i really think its time i shape myself up all over again before i get really morbidly obese. i've lost 2 cm off my tummy... maybe not that significant but hey, that is fine by me... any progress is good progress. i just hope i dont have to go for remedial trainings la... cos there's been rumours that now even tho u're still studying, rt is compulsory if u fail... which will be a bloody hell of a bummer. i have no time to go for remedial trainings la...

oh! and i was in for a lil shock just now when i went to the sports hall to do the static stations! there were all these electronic machines to measure our chin ups, standing broad jump, sit ups and shuttle run! it was awesome la... People dont have to hold ur feet for u for sit ups anymore and the machine counts the number of sit ups for u! hahah... as does the one for chin up... i think that was really cool... very 21st century horrrrrr!

i wanna say that i will make sure i will pass the next ippt next year... but thats what i said last year.. so yeah... well i guess i just have to be consistent at the gym sessions la... it would be really nice to get 200 bucks from passing ippt... this army fren of mine whom i always go for the ippt with, has been getting 400 bucks every year la.. i think for three consecutive years lor.. for getting gold... wah laueyyyy.... 400 bucks k! for like less than 2 hrs of work! anyway.. it was nice tho.. to have gotten this thing over and done with...and it was nice that i got to drive to maju camp.... cos my parents are in perth right now... to visit my uncle... my aunt just passed away last sunday... was really sad news.. but that is part and parcel of life eh...

on a brighter note, my bday is coming up... i am pretty excited.. dunno why... hahha... but yeah.. i;m turning 24... which is surreal.. i dont feel 24... i mean... i used to think that i;d be feeling or wld be a certain way at 24.. and i don;t feel that...i feel like i'm a 15 year ol kid stuck in the body of a fat 24 year ol man! hahahahha! but oh well... age is but a number rite.... anyway... skool.s been pretty okay i guess... altho the even weeks are definitely hell... wednesdays on even weeks are like 6 hrs back to back of tute, lect, tute.... and thursdays and fridays, school starts at 8 for me.... yes hell i tell ya! pure hell! but all's good i guess.

oh i just remebered, i need to let this out la.. i met this secondary school fren of mine... in his on words, he is really "an awkward kid"... has always been and still is la... but he is very blunt also... and he is in my class for 'science, technology and society'... so anyway. i finally got to chat with him for a bit before class last week.. and i got so demoralised la... when i told him i wanted to do honours.. he asked about my cap and i said its not that good la.. but i will probably be able to get a second class uppers upon graduation... when he heard that my cap was like 3.89.. he was like.. 'oh k... thats really not good la.. how do honours like that..." I was so unprepared for that la...then he further interrogated me la... about how i plan my studies in nus rght from the start .. since i knew i was gonna do honours, why i didnt plan properly and all... and i was like.. whoa... this guy is really getting in my face la... then when he found out that i wanted to do honours cos i wana do my masters.. he was like... "whoa!!!! really ah!!' whith that cynical look.. like that are-u-for-real look... then when he found out i wanted to do it overseas and that i hope to do my phd... he was liek totally surprised at that la... like i couldnt do it or soemthing siakkk... mann... that was like so depressing... and i could just holler at him abt how pessimistic he was la... well.. the thing is, he wasnt even really the bitchy or provocative type la... i mean... what he said was prolly true... like he did point out concerns that i;ve actually already had in mind la... like things about "you got money meh to study overseas?".. or "your cap good enough meh to do honours?" .....I was stumped for a moment la... cos suddenly i thought yahlah.. my cap is not that fantastic,.... people who go on to do honours have caps in the range of prolly like 4.5 or something... and yeah.. i;m dead broke.. and so are my parents.. how to go do masters overseas?... but then again... i;m not letting some guy who himself has no clue abt wat to do later on in his life after graduating.. and who seems to have no motivation for anything in life... and who doesnt seem to have friends to tell me what or how i should plan my life... this is my life... my aim is for a second class upper honours... ans from a 3.89, i am confident that i can pull it up to a 4.0 which would be in the same class as someone with a 4.49 anyway.... so why should i be discouraged from doing my honours... and well.. if theres a will theres a way aint it? if i noe i wanna do my masters overseas... i can surely find a way to find money for that.... if i dont get a scholarship.. then i can work first and always pursue that later.... whatever it is, at least i noe i have goals set to be achieved in life... and i;d rather die knowing that i've set aims for myself in life... and whether those dreams are realised or not, is another matter... it beats being aimless in life.. and really, the kind of cynicism that he has about what i;ve planned for myself, just reflects his character quite clearly... i feel sorry for him... for being an unmotivated, aimless and pessimistic soul that he is... my heart goes to you dude!

Pffft

2007-01-18T12:14:00.000+08:00

I hate my laptop. after three repair services at three different service centres across two different continents, it is still giving me problems. well.. not that major lah the problem but got some random weird prompts that come up leading to me having to restart it... and i dropped my laptop... and a piece cracked.. and i felt quite satisfied at that... deep inside.. it's like i wanted to say "padan muka" kau at my laptop...

my room seems to be in perpetual mess... yes my room has been messy before but never in its current perpetuity. i always clean up right after but it has been two weeks since all my clothes are all over the floor because on of the shelves in my wardrobe broke,.. for the umpteenth time and i couldnt be bothered to fix it... things are all over the place... i've forgotten that i have parquet flooring.. and the worse thing is i seem to be fine with the condition. it is damn wrong can! i am a neat freak and a friggin anal prick at that! really!

and to sum it all up, i feel HOLLOW. like really hollow... it feels real echo-y inside. i am not motivated to go to school nowadays... nothing to look forward to in life and i just feel super tired everyday. and again, worse of all... I DUNNO WHY that is so.

i am not whining here. just bewildered at the current state of things right now. it is really alrite that i have shitty days... cos everyone has them... but to not being able to put a finger to what is making me feel so miserable is just bloody frustrating. it's like u see a wound on your body oozing with blood endlessly, draining the life out of you, and yet, not only don;t u noe wat is really causing th ebleeding not to stop, but that you dont even noe how to stop that bleeding.

I am just so exhausted.

two cities in one beating heart

2007-01-09T11:00:00.000+08:00

I have purposely not updated this blog because firstly, the last week or so at melbourne, i always came home late cos the days were spent going out with fiza and by the time i reached home, I was just too pooped to do anything. Secondly, when I was back in Singapore, I just decided that it was just too painful for me to reminisce about melbourne, cos i was missing it like crazy and I just dont wanna talk about some place and the experiences there without being able to be there.. not now,not anytime in the near future. I had plenty of time to update my blog.. but i Just didnt, i refused to and I am really sorry to the regular blog readers of mine... no matter how miniscule the number is! hahaha

So well... as ya'll noe, I came back on the 20th of december. The past few days before that was an energy consuming and a blardy migraine inducing experience, obsessing about my baggage that was totally gonna exceed the permitted weightage! fortunately, fiza helped me with about 6 kilos of sutff when she went back home the day before I did.

As I head home from the airport after fiza went through the departure gates, I felt so sad...almost surreal that I was going to go home the next day. Everything looked so familiar around me, the airport, the shuttle, southern cross station where I took my last train ride home to merlynston. Yet, there was the realisation that there was something more familiar awaiting me miles away from melbourne. I couldn't wait to go back to Singapore, but not knowing when I'll be back in melbourne makes it quite unbearable to leave the latter. walking home from merlynston railway station to derby street along the fawkner memorial park, I felt like tearing. I was like a sponge, trying to take in all that walking, the road, the trees, the huge beautiful roses that seemed to bid me a sad farewell and the icy cold wind that keeps blowing against my face. My brother was there walking with me, but I felt really alone because no one else could share in the pain that I was experiencing. The ground I was walking on seemed to clutch my feet as if they were the best of friends while the star lit sky seemed ever so ready to take me back home to Singapore. I really miss melbourne. well yeah, life was not complete there but it was a life that I could really make do with.

So anyway, my cousin drove me to the airport the next day and I was glad I didnt have to queue up for a long time to check in! and to my surprise, my bagge of about 32 kilos went through without questions asked. I should have indeed brought back the rest of my stuff that I'd left back at my cousin's! But then... suddenly I was told I couldnt get on the flight because I supposedly needed a ticket although mine was electronically confirmed already. I was so frustrated because it totally didnt make any sense. My seat was confirmed and I've always known that once ur seat is electronically confirmed, u dont need a physical ticket to present at check in! but the woman insisted that I call back my travel agency in singapore to deal with the matter! I was getting so flustered and nervous. So my baggage was returned back and I couldnt get checked in! while I made the call to singapore, my cousin and her husband helped me enquire about the situation at the qantas sales service desk. and guess wat? there were two MUHAMMAD HAFIZs on the same flight. the silly ol woman thought that HAFIZ was my last name, when the whole confusion wouldnt have come abt if she were to realise that my last name was Roslee!...so i got checked in finally and I had to lug my surfboard to some other place because it was too big to be checked in at the counter.

I played with my nieces for a good half an hour before I went through the gate.The goodbyes were brief but quite emotional for me, and I was really grateful to my cousin and her family for everthing while i was over at melb... While I was waiting to board the plane, my bro called me...we chatted for a bit... he was in skool, so he couldnt see me off. then I just sat there, alone, staring at my brown nike shoes. my sadness turned into anxiety becos I have acquired a phobia of flying a couple of years ago! hahaha... i dreaded boarding the plane and when I found out i got the window seat, I was like WEEOOOWWW! a couple sat beside me... i think they were british.. i didnt mind them at all... choosing to just be in a world of my own.. I took out my surfing magazine, just trying to get my mind off the fear of flying. we were in the plane for almost one hr before we finally took off because of the haze. wellm the flight was pretty smooth and I when I finally saw changi airport abt 7 hrs later, i got so excited! I got off the plane real quick and just made my way to the immigration as fast as i could. it was weird to see Malay and chinese staff at the airport... felt kinda warm and fuzzy inside, cos it really felt like home...felt like somewhere i really belong. while getting to my luggage, I saw my aunties waving madly at me! hahaha... it was nice to see them, .. and i saw my mum, calm and collected, trying to seek me out from the other passengers waiting for their bags. My surfboard looked much bigger suddenly and i was like regretting bringing that back home! so bigg.. so many people out there.. paisey la! but oh well.. i went through the arrival gates and i hugged my mum first! then my dad and my aunties... i forgot my sister sey!hahaha... thats cos I saw my frens... didtn noe they were there! amirul and hamsa and dee and fath! was so glad to se them all!oh and the heat definitely made its presence felt too... the humidity! oh man!

days after were spent at chalets and dinners with friends and family... and just getting myself assimilated back to the singapore way of living. i am glad i dont feel awkward or out of place! the food as usual, is great!!!!!!! and I have been having loads of fun these past few days since i got back.

i have so many fotos that I want to put up here, but i have none...my laptop is still at the repair's and the cds my bro sent me that was full of melb pics cannot be accessed becos my pc's cd rom drive is spoilt. so hopefully i'll get to do that in the near future .

cheong chye aka ziggy went off to Lyon, france, recently for his SEP.. and he has been religiously blogging since he reached there. wheni read one particular post, i felt regretful. CC got to meet many people from around the world, fellow exchange student. I had the chance to when I was in melb but I didnt! i feel like kicking myself... but when i thought it over, i realised why...firstly, i felt so out of place cos there were hardly any asians around what more malays, when i first got to meet the group of exchange students... i talked to a few italians and swedish during the briefing but that was it... there were many welcome parties and meetings but I chose not to go to them because it was always a drinking party! and bbqs! but now, i think mayeb i shld have just joined along... i didnt have to drink nor eat because that's not the main thing they do at these meetings right? U WISH! hahaha

but all's well! SEP was enriching nontheless! made more singaporean frens@ haha.. and i thoroughly enjoyed my stay there! i did pretty good for the exams considering the effort i put in and studying there for a semester definitely made me a better student i think. it was indeed, as cliched as it sounds, an eye opening experience. Now, its time for me to slog in NUS and reach that CAP of 4.0 by the end of the semester. This semester will prolly be the toughest ever becos i'll be doing six modules! and i have to also at the same time work my ass off to earn back all the money that i have used up at melbourne. 2007 for me seemed pretty unexciting becos there really is nothing to look forward to. just imagine, no money and so much work to take on...where's the life in that? my focus right now is to do really well in skool.. and do rellly well in my honours year and hopefully i will be good enuf to get a scholarship to do my masters at meb uni again. i cant wait to go back to melbourne... adn hopefully to start my life off there... it will be bombin!!!! and i really miss surfing, or trying to surf.. hahaha... i wANt to practise and practise! but woe is me! dunno when i'll get to surf.. hopefully cherating will happen soon! and i need to go scout for other surfer dudes here in singapore... so i can mayeb join in their surfing trips or soemthing.. and at least i will get pointers and guidance from ppl who share the same passion as i do! so surfers out there! holler at me la!!!

Of Great Oceans and Overrated limestones

2006-12-04T12:40:00.000+08:00

The road trip to the great ocean road yesterday was suhweeeeettt... i had a bombing splendid time..... i've always dreaded driving on and on for hours... i still hate that...but to be rewarded with such a majestic scenery... ahhh... heavenly la.. the waters were so blue... i've never seen so many different shades of blue in my life before!!! it was tiring but it was all worth the maddeningly, windingly long drive! my bro took 447 pictures there yesterday... yes... just a few fotos shy of a half of a thousand! in only a few hours.. hahah... i'll upload pics next time yeah although really, pictures, as beautiful as they are... could never replace the experience of being there in person... just beautiful.... and yeah.. the overrated twelve apostles... hahaha.. yeah... it's aaaaallllriiigggghhhttt ... i mean.. i've always thought that the twelve apostles were overrated .. but they were pretty gorgeous upclose and personal .. ;p

"JAMBANISM"

2006-11-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

In the words of the jambanists...shit does happen to us all and it would really depend on ur luck whether that shit sitting on top of u is as big as a gargantua or not ah... betul tak fiza? or did i totally misunderstood the jambanist dogma?........................

when shit happens to you, u are alluded to the jamban that could only take in all that shit without your being able to really do anything to stop that shit from making itself feel at home on you....... it's really smelly, u feel miserable, and you;d really start to question why, of all the jambans in the world, u are beset with such an unfortunate faecal situation.

when u fail at something, do you console yourself by knowing that you've done and given your very best despite the undesireable result or do you wallow in self misery knowing that you have put in ur best only to find out that your very best does not suffice.

i guess one can;t really realise one's full potential in life... u think u have given ur utmost effort at accomplishing ur goal, but maybe u cld have always done better? it does not mean that you are worthless... u are just clueless, clueless as to how far better you can really aim for and achieve. at the end of the day, what doesnt kill you only make u stronger... and more importantly,failures are not meant to accentuate your flaws but to only reinforce the fact that we are mere human beings, and that every single thing that happens to you are only meant to make u discover more about yourself, that is there is always another higher level that you can now proceed on to... failures should elevate you... failures only put you into a downward spiral only when you want them to... let's put it this way, usually u see the shit being flushed down the toilet in a downward spiral manner, not the jamban (toilet bowl). so really, when the shits decide to meke itself comfortable in your previously sparkling and faeces-free jamban-self, just flush it off of you. it's easier said than done... but it HAS got to be done!

keep the jamban clean and sparkling!

resurrection

2006-11-29T09:37:00.000+08:00

ALLO all!!!! i noe i noe.., it has beeen a superrrrrrrr long time since my last blog post... i have been nagged for not updating and have even been thought to be DEAD.. thanx ah ziggy!

anyways! the reason i havent been religiously attending to my blog is because firstly, my laptop broke down.......been sent for repair and came back to me still ill... worse of all, i was in hte midst of having to meet essay deadlines... hell does not even begin to describe wat i went through......... so yeah.. the deadlines was the second reason... i was busy bisy busy....... i had to sit for my one and only exam paper on the 15th of nov and left for tasmania the next morning! tasmania was great! finally gotta do my surfing and just slacked my time away there... did u noe how hard surfing is???!! imean.. it s not only physically exhausting... it is also very injurious to the body! but i managed to stand up on the board.. so yeah.. all i need is a bit more practice and i'm good to go....... great ocean road this saturday! whoooopeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!i have some fotos from tasmania but cos it's on hard copy and i am lazy to scan those pics.. so i'll save those for some other posts la eh.. maybe when i post pics from great ocean road

my laptop has just been sent to a nother repair shop last week and i've yet to receive a call to pick my laptop up... i am using my bro's lappy.. actually i have been using his laptop since mine broke down la.. but i've always preferred to do my blogging from my own laptop... i miss my laptop heapss.... i get to have my bro's laptop all to myuself now, cos he's just gotten an imac ... but it's still not the same as my laptop.................. okay... whining here.......

i am going back home in less than a month;s time and am really loooking forward to it! can;t bloody wait no more! i miss the smell of singapore air.. whatever that is... and the delicious, cheap food... friends and family.... my room, my tv, my bed, my marroon and cream coloured walls......... aaaaaaaahhh..... one thing im not looking forwaRD TO is everyone seeing the FATTER me! i am so bloody fat from all the food here in melb,.. thos cheap irresistable pizzas and big fat chips.. the baclavas!!! chocolate! gelati! and the endless snackings......... no excercise at all... and so just imagine how big i;ve gotten yeah. i have ippt coming up which is a pain really.... but oh weeeeeellllllllllllllllllll.............

on a more exciting note, FIZA is coming down to melbourne!!!!!! yay!! which is totally awesome! i misss u many many fiza! and we'll go on a great vintage clothings hunt yeah!! and the great ocean road... penguins at philip island! and kangaroos at ballarat!

one more thing that i have to complain about: my luggage! i have an immensely heavy baggage to bring home which is impossibly too heavy to get checked in smoothly......headache i tell ya.... and i definitely have to get something for my friends from here and i dunno how i can afford any more weight onto my baggage... blearrgghhh

anyway... i went to go snap a few pics at melb uni yesterday... as memento of my stint at melb uni.. it felt really sad that i;m gonna leave melb uni... i will miss it so much!.. i hope i'll get to do my masters here in a couple of years time.. that will be bombin! here are the pics.. enjoy! (although it's all me in the pics... nothing much to ogle at lah eh! hahahaha

blowpers

2006-10-15T19:27:00.000+08:00

was watching aussie idol... one of the judges, Kyle, went(to a male idol contestant) : "I thought you were gonna blow me tonight, but...(interrupted by an uproar of laughter)". Blimey! that was fucking funny hahahha..... well he did actually mean to say "i thought you were gonna blow me AWAY tonight!"

bobby flynn is my favorite idol.. very unique ... love the hair, the singing... gives me goose bumps everytime he sings... fiza! u'd love him too if u saw him perform! i wish i could sing like him... well, my hair's almost there......;p

oven baked

2006-10-12T14:02:00.000+08:00

I...it is I that is oven baked.... so blardy hot down here! the sun is just in your face and the heat... urrrgghhh... i really need to get a decent sunblock ...spf 30... really...

and its really wierd that it is already bright with the sun out at 530 in the morning... just cant wait to experience daylight at 8 in the evening later on in the summer,... hahaha.. that will be wwwweeeeeeeyerrrrrrrrdd... now i am seriously contemplating if i should really extend my saty here till january... it'll be friggin hott.. and the flies... i am so not looking forward to that. the heat is wearing me out to the point that i dont even feel like making my way home now... i'll prolly just wait until the sun goes down... the weather is gonna give me a migraine.. again..

busy busy busy

2006-10-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

haven't got to update for a while cos i've been busy. really super busy with deadlines. Was slacking during the two week break.. didnt even do my essays which unfortunately led to my having to rush through them to the last second just before the stipulated time to hand the essays in! i just realised its been two weeks of fasting already! so fast!!! my cousin and her family went back to Singapore just before the start of puasa because her father in law passed away... was really shicking news.. but well.. thats part and parcel of life ain't it?

i've just gotten some of my assignments back... scoring H2Bs so far... erm.. well its like between 70-74 percentage.. not too shabby i guess... considering i didnt give a shit.. or not as much shit i;d have given to assignments back in nus la! hahahhaha

i've got less than three weeks of school left! i dunno whether i should be happy or sad... thats the end of my exchange... which is kinda sad... but that also means that i get to be on a holiday mood all over again! and immeran is coming to melb right after my one and only exam paper on the 15th of nov and we are going to TASMANIA!!! i am blardy excited... planning to take up surfing lessons there... hopefully it wont be too cold in Tazzie... but what a bummer la.. i still cant find a job until now! 30 resumes sent out... applied for a job at a departmental store as a storekeeper also cannot get siaaaahhhh! paid 60 bucks for the work permit for nothing like that.. went for a couple of job interviews.. but never got a call back.. damn sad laa.. but wat to do...at least i got to earn back 40 dollars through cleaning pianos! hahah... yeah.. i'd do anything to get money here! clean 4 pianos! in almost five hrs... blardy tiring and so tedious.. i hate pianos! but well.. guess i have to dig into my savings... again... hahha... well.. since i'm here in australia already.. might as well go places and have a blast rite... only that once i get back to singapore i'll be damn broke cannnnn.... that one later can think horr.

oohhhhhhhhh did i tell you guys that i loovvvveeee the commercials here in melb! they're so friggin cool i tell ya... damn funny and witty and just so different from those in singapore... one new mentos commercial ... damn funny... the guy ate a mentos and his nipples grew longer!! yes! his nipples!!! longerr... like a few inches longer... then he went around spinning frisbee with the nipple... press the lift button... hang his sunglasses! wah.. just cracks me up everytime i watch it ... commecials here are like.. how do i put it eh... like they just go all the way ah to get attention... no holding back like that... niceeeee... maybe i'll try record the mentos commercial and put it up here..

what else to say aaahh.. oh... my nieces are coming back tomoro ... damn excited to meet them after two weeks of not seeing them! mis miss them...lala and yaya... they just bring joy to my life.. hahaha.. but relaly lah.. i always damn excited to go home after skool just so that i could see them.. gonna miss them heaps when i go back to singapore........... guess thats abt it la eh... nothing other pressing matter to be made public here... laterrrr.... hopefully i'll get to update my blog sometime soon... although the possibility is very slim.. cos i've got heaps of essays to complete... busy busy busy

vacation weekS!

2006-09-17T13:41:00.000+08:00

the start of the two -week vacation is tomorrow!! yay! loves it! been a while since i last updated the blog cos i've been lazy...partly, and cos my parents were here for two weeks... so had to spend as much time as possible with them express updates: 1. my request for extension of the exchange program has been rejectd by NUS... they want me back cos i'm so precious to them... maybe they noe i want to transfer my mod credits to melb uni and grad in melb! hahaha 2. i went shopping at DFO again.. got loads of things from there: a super big puma bag.. very vintage looking... i likeeeee... my striped trousers that i;ve been looking for dunno for how long ah... a polo ralph lauren tee... super super discounted so damn! just gotta get it can!... and two jumpers... dirt cheaaaapppppp 3. bought another polo ralph on ebay *hehehe* 4.getting faaaaattttttterrrrrrrrr 5. i am officially a magnet for crazy people on public transport... didnt boe melb got a lot of crazy people who talks or swears profusely to themselves... and they just have to sit right beside me on the train or tram... 6. *'SHE' said hi to me outside of class*... couldnt sleep that night 7. getting hottt down under 8. essayssssss deadlines coming up.............. 9. falling in love with anthropology!

sick of history subjects

2006-08-29T15:30:00.000+08:00

i am currently in a history lecture... total war in europe: second world war........ YAWWNNNNNNNN!!!... so blardy boring.. i usually skip the second part of the lecture on thrusdays so i always make a point to go for the frst one on tuesdays.... wat a lousy way to end ur day... i end so late... and with sucha blardy boring subject... well i am here... but i decided to just zone off.. and since its been a while since i last updated my blog i thought i;d do it now.. haha! i've been really busy with my essay proposals and research and that's why no posts laaa... anyway.. didnt feel like blogging.. no pressing issue to tell the world about..

My parents are hereeeeeee in melbourne!!! gerek gituuu! i miss them so much and its really nice to get to see them in person and hold them.... brought them out for dinner last night... sorta like the traditional birthday celebration for my brother who turns (the always overrated) 21.. minus my sister la... sighhh i miss my sister! i MISS U CIK NUR!!!! i miss teasing her and irritating the hell out of her! hahha... and yes fazzie i noe u miss me and all.. so i miss u too la... macam obligated to miss u cos u miss me lah eh.. hahahaa!! ;) u noe i love u fazzie...:)

i want to extend my SEP!!! for another semester... but so many things to consider la.. so leceh... got to fork out more money... got an IPPT to be done before february next year!..gotta consider how it'd affect my CAP, the fact that i'd gotta do 6 modules in each of the last two sems in NUS... and of co si wont get to see my friends and family...... weeeeeeooooowwwwwwwww nesss... but the thing is that i really like it here.. and i wanna noe how it would really feel like to be here much longer... it's already mid semester here.. soon my SEP finish liaozz..so sian like that... haiyah.. so confused lah... i am perpetually confused like that.........................................

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm think i'll now try listen to what's left of the hisrtory lecture laaa...... oh btw FIZA! if u read this... i want an invitation to ur party tooo laaaaaa the invite looks really good ! i wantt! hahahahhahaha! just because i cant be there... doesnt mean i'm not entitled to ur invitation rite? hehe:p

speak your mind

2006-08-10T20:41:00.000+08:00

speaking your mind in a consorship free domain... thats what i think universities should function as at the very least, yet, from the one that i come from, it is not all too possible, not the way in which melb uni organises rallies and protests against anything under the sun that students are unhappy about... i stood around in awe (from a distance haha) at the recent rally against the war in lebanon, where the US and Israel were accused of being the real terrorists, the latter being the US' work-dog... debates went on freely between students, while the few rally organisers holler their minds out thru the loud hailers on a pedestal. it is all new to me... because we dont see these kinda stuff back home... the day before, i signed a petition that will be sent to the australian govt to do something about the war in lebanon and to take the 'right' side in its endeavour... i was reluctant, apprehensive, but i just thought that i should. afterwards... i was all paranoid... thinking some govt agent might arrest me in th emiddel of the night or something...i felt like i had committed something illegal by participating in a quasi antigovt movement... only now do i get why international students who come to NUS always seem to voice their concern and amazement at the lack of such movements and rallies on campus grounds... to them it is just too non-uni-ish... universities, they say are supposed to be the breeding grounds of movements and protests against perceived injustices within and oustside of the country and yet, NUS, being one of the supposed best universities in the world, unfortunately could not afford such activities on campus grounds... well... thats just the way it is in singapore... being a small nation and all, i guess liberal and radical expressions such as those ocurring elsewhere in the world do need to be curbed...as a result, we just become a kinda apathetic lot... blah blah blah

i am getting tooo political here i think... bluekk... my main point is that it is just so koooll to experience all these! i am not regretting my decision to embark on this SEP programme one bit... seems pretty difficult at first but i am really learning a lot from this program... coming back to NUS next semester would totally be a new experience, only because i have futher developed myself in so many ways... like being more independent, being more confident and to be able to really speak out in tutorials... well took me three weeks to finally really participate in turorials here at melb uni.. cos these australians are jsut so intimidating.. and i'm so self conscious of my accent! but i rellly like the way ppl do their discussions.. they speak their mind freely and really talk with one another on issues... not just to th etutor but reacting and responding to one another's views and opinions... so laidback... i really feel i am gonn abe one of those talkative ppl in tutorials next sem onwards in NUS considering having being in such a foreign setting in melb, it will definitely be less daunting to speak up in a class of fellow singaporeans...

met a couple of ppl from singapore... wonderful lot... kinda drifting away from the OZ blokes tho, cos i dunno.. just like there's really nothing much that we have in common.. so it's more of a hi bye thing with the locals here.. whereas, i feel more at home with the singapore guys... so nice to hear the familiar singapore accent... the laaaasss and the loorrsss and the HAIYAASSS... hahah...

its just a funny feeling... i miss home so much but at the same time it really feels like home here too... i am even considering trying to extend my SEP for another semester.. haha... but well.. we'll see lah... dunno if it'll be too good an idea... a lot of stuff at stake... but well... i am just revelling in the moment ... i am thankful that my time here so far has been nothing but generally rewarding...

just have to mention this again... can;t wait for my parents arrival!!! two more weeekksssssssss......... long time i never see my mum and dad's faceees.......

oh and my cousin's new house... LOVELY... just LOVELYYYYYYYYYYYYY... can't wait to move in with them....further fromm school compared to from the other cousin's place that i'm staying with rite now... but i dont mind it...dont mind it at all... :)

btw... i did cornrows for my bro... cos his hair is really getting way outta control... and i think i did a fine job for a first timer at full head cornrows no??? hahaha.. so all those who wants cornrows.. come to me... i do it free of charge... or maybe u can blanja me lunch or something arrr! hahahha....

brrrrrrrrrrrrr

2006-07-30T21:52:00.000+08:00

just when i thought the cold is finally gonna give, it just gets colder! it had been a lovely super sunny day just now... so i took the girls i'm babysitting out in the backyard for a bit of flower picking, cycling, and a few kicks and throws of footy... i still dunno how they bounce the footy such that the ball gets back to them! anyways... yeah it was a lovely day... wasn't so cold anymore and i thought yay!!!...but i think tomoro is just gonna be colder... expecting showers... and i was really planning to wear berms to skool tomoro... oh well.. maybe i'll just wear them... i did go out at night in those last night and the cold was still bearable...

oh and i got a new scarf which was just irresistable, and so i just had to fork out 18 bucks to get it.. and really am trying hard to forget how much it had cost me ...so out of my budget!... but i got a second hand text book at 20 dollars cheaper so maybe it all balances out well i guess...

i've been at my readings since early this evening and i am still not done.. well of cos considering i'd been doin it in front of the tv...but i dunno just feels weird la.. doing readings.. studying.. assignments.. when it feels like holiday here... cos i'd been doing all that only back home in singapore...and getting on with that kinda routine overseas just feels kinda well...different and surreal...two lects tomoro... skool starts at 12... so its not too early la and i like that about the semester here... i dont start too earlyyyy cos its really difficult to wake up in the mornings when the weather is like always so cold and it just feels lovely to snuggle under the covers... that is rare in singapore but when it is so everyday here... it's not surprising that i try to sleep in as often and as possible as i can......

its midnight now.. and i think i'm just gonna try finish this anthropology reading of mine and go sleep right afterwards... oh yarrrrrr.. i wanna talk about BIG BROTHER.. but maybe tomoro lahhhhhhhh niteeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy !!!!

hafiz smilesssss finally...

2006-07-27T14:17:00.000+08:00

melb uni feels more homely now... and not so dreaded anymore cos i've made a couple of friends! that's a start but yeah, cool OZ dudes! just needs to get to noe one to be introduced to the rest and that's just blardy exciting. so i've gone to all the first tutorials for this semester and it's really nice to have gotten that over and done with... cos first tutorials are always the sucky part... the awkward glares and having to introduce yourselves to everyone in class... but all's well... and i'm loving melbourne even more! hahahaha!

but that does not even come close to meaning that I;ve totally forgotten about singapore cos i do miss everything back home... thus even as i type this blog post out, my ears are stuffed to power 98 live over the internet...it's really nice to hear the familiar singaporean accent and it sorta keeps me rooted...i'm getting used to the OZ (aussie) accent better now... which, trust me, is damn important down here or you'll just be HUH-ing your way around here...

skool aside, i received some really great and exciting news last night... and i just can;t wait for all that to materialise!... can't disclose that here right now but yeah... it's not such a biggie like i'm getting married or something lah.. but i mean it will just add to the wonderful time i'm having over here in melbourne...

oh yeah... and i'm loving FOOTYYYYYYYYYY! i was telling fiza over msn last night and she was puzzled how ppl here seem to always get brainwashed into liking that game... anyway, for the ignorant, footy is short for football... australian football... australian rules... LAAAARVE THE GAAAIIIMMMEEEE! AND hoping to catch the game live at the MCG (mELbourne cricket ground) this saturday with my bro... GO Saints!!!

i am really hungry right now and i think i should get going and go grab a bite before the last lecture for the day... see ya mates!!!

SKOOL

2006-07-21T12:45:00.000+08:00

Skool's starting next monday and this past week had been enrolment and orientation week. well, as usual, i didn't actually bother going for all of the orientation programs although i wanted to but errrrr... paisey lah! no frens! and the other new students or rather the fellow exchange students seem to have their own groups already...think i should have contacted my fellow nus exchange students. but well i did get to know this gerl for Holland who goes by the name Lotti... cute arrr.. ahahahah... and julia, this girl from italy who is goddammmmmnnnnnn gorgeous but i reckon she's a few ears older than i am.

but oh well... i am contemplating signing up for the student union then i can gain access to a lot more stuff and dscounts and i cld prolly meet more new people... the thing is that it is really difficult cos as with other unis, frens we make are usually the touch and go kind so its like although i get to noe someone, its kinda hard to keep in contact unless i just shamelessly ask for what, their contact nmbers?? hahah... maybe i'll only do that in tutorials or lectures...

anywayyyyyyyyy, i got a three day week again this semester!!! hahaha... which is swelllllllll... wednesdays and fridays freeeeeeeeeeee... so hopefully i can work soon and take up surfing lessons....... and buy meself a surfboarddd! haha! cant wait for summer.

btw, melb uni is blardy gorgeouss and i wish i could do one whole year of exchange here... but well, i kinda miss home already so prolly a semester will really be sufficient. can't wait for my parents arrival here next month...soemtime next month, dunno when cos they won't tell!! sheesh!

melbourne is of the essence

2006-06-25T12:50:00.000+08:00

i am still gaining internet access from the internet cafe but the prospect of getting my own internet connection is quite real now since my cousin jas offered to upgrade his internet connection and once i get the wireless router all will be well... but still dunno when lah.. cos he's super busy and all and i wont impose on him.

that aside... at least today on this boring sunday afternoon, i have prepared myself to put up a lengthy update on my blog... especially so at the request of my dear cuzzin fazzie! and i have pics also with me today!!!

guess its been ard two weeks since i first set foot on melbourne and i;d say that apart form the getting used to and whatnots, it has so far been pretty much of a holiday for me... especially since my sis was here for a holiday... so we were all in hoiday mood la... sightseeing... shopping and all. but now she's gone back home and even tho skool's still not for a few more weeks later, i dont feel that kinda vacation mood anymore... cos now.. cannot throw away money on frivolous holiday stuff and keep on eating out! cos i'll need money for skool later! and i'm running dry... altho i did buy a pair of everlast shoes yesterday for 35 aussie buckeroos! haha but hey! they're really cheap okay and i just haftea get them !... but when i reached home yesterday, i relaise now i have five pairs of shoes to bring home!!! so to all my dear frens back in singapore... please please come over to melbourne in december and help me bring my stuff back home yarrr!!!!! hahahah

frankly, althoguh i miss home badly... i am loving melbourne! loveeee the weather altho the cold can be a megabitch sometimes... but so far, i had fun shopping at the factory outlets here... cheapieeeeeeee branded stuff and i gotta see snoww!! but hmm... think most of the snow is man made cos it's not too cold yet... the newspaper reads

"MT BULLER: SNOW, 25CM (1CM)

(in smaller caption: the one in brackets refer to actual snow fall

something like that lah... but the mountains were pretty beautiful! and was probably worth three hour car ride there... and another three back to our place! i'd really wanna go there again next time.. when it's really started to snow really heavily.. and hopefully i cld shit out some buckeroos to try on some snowboarding!

PICS ON Mount Buller:

other than that... it was pretty much walking around the city and getting acquainted with the melburnian way of life... and shopping of cos... and eating.. at ZAM ZAM! haha yeah.. s'pore's ZAM ZAM... and ESTELLER... and this place called BISMI'S... which serves really good briyani!.. but very expensive la... food here costs like ard 7 bucks a plate... but Bismi's serving is the only one that i thought is worth the price we're paying... so from now on... we're prolly feeding on home made sandwiches!

br>

oh and there's this casino place (CROWN) near the place i'm staying at which is pretty cool! the exteriors remind me of boat quay but htey have this fantastic fire exploding out of this furnace like structures which get really huge and u can feel the heat just standing quite a distance from them!... i wld really love to write more but i cant cos my internet usage time is running out... next time i'll post pics of the apartment in which i'm staying in yeah... really nice place... my room opens to the balcony facing the YARRA River... just fantastic.. and it really is like a hotel more than it is an apartment (as we picture in singaporean context).... and i have a lotta other pics but i'd rather upload them in the comfort of my own room ... so i guess i'll do that sometime later ....so see ya'll again mates!

HELLO V-WORLD!

2006-06-17T17:39:00.000+08:00

I was almost dying like a fish out of the water like that... since i first set foot on melbourne, today is the first time i gotta to really use the internet... at an internet cafe(i was online for a bit la a few days back.. but only for a while and that doesnt count!)... my cousin's place has got a broadband connection but the internet connections here are weird la... like their plans have restricted downloadable usage... and so it is like very limited... for example... per month he gets only 400MB worth of downloadable space...not dl music or movies only u noe! like if the webbie u open uses a lot of flash and all... that will be taken into account as well! stupid i know... thats why i miss singapore!! and so i still do not have my own internet and it will prolly be so for quite sometime.. and thats a mega bummer!

oh well! but overall i love melbourne!!! love the weather when it's not too cold... and it will definitely be better if i cld get my own living space... it's prolly rite to say that i'm not properly settled doen yet first... but hey, it's just been a week and skool wont start until like in a month's time

i'd love to upload pictures but i can't cos i'm at the cafe... so maybe some other time... i miss my family back home! and my dearessssttttttt friends!!!

ok cant blog too much.. limited internet usage... hehe... got some other important stuff to do!! see ya'll soon !

cause i'm leavin' on a jet plane

2006-06-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

i have been super busy the past few days... went to get some stuff for melbourne and a couple of outings with my dear family and friends... had a few farewell parties and all's well

today i woke up feeling a tinge of dread... i'm leaving tomoro evening and I am not really excited. i just am not...

i guess the next time i blog, i wld be in melbourne and hopefully my mood's better...

to all who have spent these past few days with me, thank you loads! love ya'll!

2006-06-04T19:29:00.000+08:00

I was introduced to this one goddamm fuuuunnnnnn webbie: myheritage.com where u cld upload ur own photos and they will present you with celebrities whom u most resemble... and boy did i get myself into a great shock with my results! hahaha! i look like heath ledger mind you! heath ledger!!!! hahaha and kareena kapoor! haha wtf!

well i had to use a dated photo of mine cos my recent pics were apparently non-matchable! weeoooowwness! and i resemble theseeeeeeee... based on certain approximated percentages of likeness... hahha! the webbie say one hor! ce n'est pas moi!

heath ledger: 57%

hee seop choi: 48%
ingrid bergman: 50%

joan crawford: 50%

kareena kapoor: 49%

matthew fox: 54%

ronaldo: 54%

seann william scott: 51%

zsa zsa gabor: 55%

zhang ziyi: 47%

AND THIS IS THE PRESENT FACE OF MINE THAT HAS NO MATCHES! and hey... i am really fine with myself k! i'd rather look like me than anyone else... yes even matthew fox... ;P

c.u.t.e

2006-06-04T18:52:00.000+08:00

i first saw this on justjared.com... blardy cute cannnn

sing a love song for me

2006-06-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

i was watching tim mcgraw and faith hill on Oprah earlier on and I was just envious of them...cos i always thought that lovers who both sing and who are musically inclined are really lucky because to me, they possess a tool that not many couples do! to be able to sing to one another is such a beautiful way of expreesing each other's love and on top of that, there's that one spiritual connection, i believe, that could be forged through singing...on a different kinda plane i mean...but then again, i guess it;s just that kinda idealistic and romanticised notion love la. I am not bragging but i do have a singing voice (erhem erhem... HAHAHA)and i used to be with this girl who also happens to have a singing voice (haha)...well lets just say we took part in the school talentime before and had performed in some annual school production...so yeah we could actually sing much much better than the 'do re mi' lady on s'pore idol.... ANYWAY... i remember one time when a fren of mine commented that it's really sweet and amazing that the both of us happen to be able to sing.. and she said that it must be kinda romantic...hahha.. i thought so too but nah.. not necesarily so... reality is so far from reality...beacause really, if two singers do really make such a romantic and ideal pair, celebrity marriages would at least last beyond 2.5 seconds.

sentosa yesterday morning was a brief affair...we were on the island less than a whole a two hours which is just totally a waste of admission fees!we had lunch, suntanned a li'l and just chatted away...didnt even swim cos i didnt feel like it... so i didnt burn! hahaha... we changed up and decided to head to mustafa centre which is well... interesting.. but i really wouldnt wanna go there again...then lunch at the banquet over at the raffles hospital...after that was home! nothing much lah but i guess it's nice to see these couple of army guys before i leave for Melbourne.

i had been bumming around a lot other than yesterday.. have not even gone to watch x-men.., which is even a much much bigger BUMMMEEERRR...but oh welll..i definitely will catch it before i leave.. and maybe 'the omen' too... seems pretty good! oh but hey..my brain's werking just find.. and i did give it a lil workout by helping my cuz with her lit hw... i miss doing prac crit.. and so it was a nice break from my monotonous and brainless bummmmful days on my bed! i am still supposed to go to johor and run errands for my mum.. but lazy larrr to drive...next week maybe... no plans for tomoro yet.. but i have a feeling i will finally be outta my bed and will be doin something productive! hahaha! and i can't wait for melbourne!!!!!!!! wooohhhoooooooo!!

Hafiz's Anatomy

2006-05-30T15:04:00.000+08:00

There's a problem with one of my anatomical features... my eyes... i tear easily and i think it's a problem. but then again, when i started sobbing while watching the season finale of grey's anatomy, i think there's something more than just erratic, dysfunctional and easily stimulated tear ducts...The real problem is that I empathise too much into the lives of the characters and their emotions are unfortunately deeply felt by me...which i think is pathetic!

As you all know I have been watching grey's anatomy non-stop... and last night I was watching 5 episodes back to back. The whole time I was sleeping right after the last of the episodes, all I dreamt were about Meredith Grey, George O'Malley, Izzie Stevens, Christina Yang and the other protaganists in the series. The last few episodes of the series were to me emotionally draining and my heart ached so bad!(not literally ok! for those who know that i have a heart murmur condition) Watching the episodes back to back like that has a profound effect on you, as it not only transports yourself into that fictional world, but it holds you down inside that world and the danger lies in the fact that it is hard to come out of it and let go fo that fictional world. I feel like suddenly my world has stopped altogether just as the series has drawn to an end and I could only look forward to the next season in order to get my life going again! (note that I feel that I am indeed pathetic but when ur ears were stuffed with earphones and the screen was right in your face, the whole experience were far from something fictional or a mere fantasy... hahah!)

I will get over this by tomoro la... but the more important thing that came out of this is that I have learned a great deal about life and reality. It does not necesarily mean that I definitely know for sure now what life, relationships and emotions are all about but i've gained a different persepective or that the last few episodes of grey's anatomy has just awaken something in my subconscious. I mean, I feel like there's something new that I have discovered or further understood about life, where in fact, I had probably knew about all these all along... I'd just refused to acknowledge it till now.

Rationality,Vulnerability

These two things were to me the striking themes that ran through the series and which has made me realise a few things.

I am quite convinced now that love does indeed make us irrational... love eradicates our cognitive ability to think properly and engage in rational thought because love is in total anti thesis to anything rational. People do indeed go crazy when they're in love... and the term "crazy in love" has a whole new meaning to me.

All of us are vulnerable. We think we are superior and in control of ourselves that we sometimes forget that we are far from being in control. we are really under the mercy of something greater... for thos atheists out there, I am not suggesting that you should belive in God or a higher supreme being but even Science is largely more powerful in which we are at the mercy of. Well renowned doctors harp on their abilities to cure and revel in the fact that they are excellent in what they do best but when the very essence of what makes them a doctor, once taken away, surely sees that their world comes crashing down. A cardiologist, who is celebrated for his impeccable skills as a surgeon surely takes on a whole new perspective when he risks losing completely the function of his arms. he tends to feel he is lesser of his whole being

I am not preaching nor am I philosiphizing...rather, this just acts as a reminder of certain things important in life. we are humans and we tend to forget easily and somehow i need to remind myself about these two natures (rationality and vulnerability) that is integral in our very existence. in my opinion, these two are not separate but are indeed mutually reinforcing, just because our rationality would take us out of possible self destruction due to being overwhlemingly consumed by our vulnerability... while on the other hand, the realisation of our vulnerability would only enable us to rationalise our ways through the journey of life, as we live our lives knowing we have only so much control over things in our grasp.

*oh and i think izzie stevens (Katherine Heigl) is damn hotttt!*

STUCK

2006-05-29T22:30:00.001+08:00

"I had chatted someone up from the internet. We met near my place, at a supposed quiet spot in a park. I was a nervous wreck and I remembered how I had been shaking and the whole situation seemed surreal. Prior to the rendezvous, I showered, feeling myriad emotions inside. As clichéd as it may sound, I really did feel two parts of me working in anti thesis to each other. It was a strange feeling. I felt scared but excited at the same time. It was all new to me. I sat at a bench, waiting and anticipating for my sexual protégé to arrive. My heart was racing as the person whom I had met for the first time appeared. “Not bad looking…” I thought to myself. We engaged in simple exchanges of introduction and without appearing too eager, we went on to look for a suitable spot. I felt impatient, as if something deep inside of me were about to burst. Feeling the warmth of his manhood inside my mouth was enough to not make my self stop. It seemed as if I had mastered the art and as if I had been doing it for years. The spurt of white honey in my mouth initiated an addiction on my part…I knew that whilst that experience was indeed the first for me, it surely wasn’t the last for me…"

I was watching tv when i realised that I was in the middle of writing a story which I had totally forgotten about. I had to stop cos I was beginning to get busy with skool... this is just a 'HOT' excerpt (HAHAHA!) from my totally unfinished story (i won't call it a short story cos i dont plan it to be so and i wont call it a novel cos it sounds too pompous... so 'story' goes)... think i should start writing again... but i'm stuck! no inspiration la!

what a stud!

2006-05-29T18:36:00.000+08:00

I love girls with nose studs! nothing fancy on the nose... just a simple plain silver stud on the nose is just such a turn on for me... HAHAHA...

Just came back from the outing with the MAKCIKS... IKEA and then lunch at Banquet AMK and we deceided to drop by Atok's. I am tired... dunno why, cos we didn't do that much walking really.

WOOHOOOO! there's "so u think u can dance tonight" and well, grey's anatomy, which I dont friggin care now since I've gotten to watch wayyyyyyyy further episodes than the one showing on channel 5. Grey's anatomy is damn funny althought it does also really sets u thinking about a lot of things in life...especially those pertaining to relationships; that between a daughter and the mother, the interns and their superiors, that between friends and room mates and obviously between lovers

And Boston Legal was a blast last night as usual! haha.. that show is totally fun to watch every damn episode. That show totally displays eccentricity at its finest (as paradoxical as that may sound)... but really... Alan Shatner and Danny Crane are completely weird people la

Hopefully I'll get to watch X-men tomoro cos I can;t wait anymore! and oh! I got my alarm clock already! aaahhhh. so ol skool! cos u have to like wind it up regularly... no batteries at all... blardy ol skool lah ! i likee! and yeah! now i dont have to be worried that I cant get up on time... i think the whole of bishan would be awoken by my alarm clock lorrr! damn loud can!

au revoir le monde! je veux manger! haha!

tagged

2006-05-28T17:05:00.000+08:00

i have been tagged by fiza just minutes after my last entry... thanx ah eh! and what a weird list of things that i'm supposed to do! sheeeeessshhh!

*Once you have been tagged, write a post with 24 weird facts/things/habits about yourself then tag 6 other people*

1. I have a curse. Whenever I comment on someone else's huge ass pimple, I will get that very same huge ass pimple on my face the very next day. Just like the one i am nursing rite now thanx to Cheong Chye's damn-cannot-resist-to-laugh-at pimple which I'd totally made fun of a few days back. KARMA's a bitch on a whole new level for me when it comes to pimples.

2. When I sleep, I have to make sure that my feet do not get exposed. They should be snuggled under the covers, otherwise I won't be able to sleep at all... I have a crazy idea that 'someone' will tickle my feet sometime in the night...

3. I will use my mobile hands free while driving all alone even though I am not on the phone because I always sing while driving so that other road users will at least think that i am actually talking on the phone rather that sing to myself in the car like a lunatic... paiseh la if they noe i was singing to myself !

4. i have ever spent an entire day and night in front of the tv...getting up only to go to the bathroom and to get food...yes... the whole 24 hours.

5. i shaved the hairs on my toes a long long time ago when my cousin commented that the hairs were really long (they were not that long lorrrr!) and because of that, the hairs have continually been growing uncontrollably and look really bushy... now i have to regularly trim them... thanx Sabbie...

6. The last plane ride i took was from Bali to Singapore a couple of years ago and there was so much turbulence I really thought I was gonna die that I muttered under my breath the 'kalimah syahadah'... i REALLY thought I was gonna die...

7. I used to like my sister cry for no apparent reason just so that I could console her when she cries.

8. I used to enjoy shooting down house lizards with rubber bands and later poke a satay stick through its body and burn it over the stove while it is still alive... YES I know I am evil...

9. I am very very very scared of small spaces... yes I am claustrophobic...

10. I am TERRIFIED of snakes... DEAD-SCARED of 'em

11. I am so terrified of snakes, I used to check the toilet bowl every few seconds while I was doing my business during one time when I read about a snake they found in a toilet bowl somewhere here in Singapore

12. I love plucking my nipple hair using tweezers... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

13. I don't fancy girls with short hair, like seriously don't like girls with short hair... like crazy don't like

14. I need at least 20 minutes to relieve my bowels... AT LEAST 20 minutes... i dont do 'quickies'

15. I love burning things... I really luuuuurrrrrrrrrvvveeee burning things... not just enjoy... but really really just relishing in it

16. I always hold my pee... I have ever felt to urge to really pee at around 8 am but I held it until 11 pm... I swear! no joke!

17. ...because I hate public toilets... cos i don't like to use the urinals cos some guys just like to stare and the cubicles are not always vacant and so I always end up goin to the toilet to just wet my hands, dry 'em and leave, stil with the urge to pee... so might as well hold it rite

18. I HATE sharing my food! hahahahhahah!

19. When i am in the passenger seat in a car, my right leg is always simulating a stepping on the brake pedal action because I don't trust others to drive the car

20. I find friendly strangers really really weird

21. Oh I forgot!!! I have to have my back facing the wall when I sleep in my bedroom and not to the door... or again... I really really wouldnt be able to go to sleep

22. I'd rather lose an ezlink card with substantial value inside than embarass myself to ask the passenger at the back to get the card for me that I had dropped beyond my reach to his side

23. I 'd rather miss my stop then having to struggle my way through a crowded bus or train. I really won't even try to find my way through... I really won't

24. I secretly love the fact that I can be really really weird and psychotic

face gets in the monitors

2006-05-28T16:29:00.000+08:00

I've been at grey's anatomy for hours since last night... watching consecutive episodes back to back... to the point of dreaming about being in the hospital while i had a lil nap just now. Yeah! what a demented thing to do but i just have nothing else to do... or rather, i dont have anything else that i'd really wanna do more than just lie down on my bed with the laptop in my face. I am a SLOB! HAHAHA! but hey, i've been out pretty much the whole past week and am definitely expecting more outings this coming week.
Tomoro will be IKEA with my aunts! hahaha! yeah.. sounds funny but i just thought i'd be a nice nephew and drive 'em to IKEA and let them shop... I have to get some stuff for my mum from there anyways... and I really need one of those really old skool alarm clocks that ringsssssssss really loud... u noe.. the metallic kinda clocks that look like they have chinese hair buns or just funky looking ears... cos really... no other alarm clocks seem to be able to wake me up anymore!

I can't friggin wait to watch X-men III... been anticipating the release of this movie for eons and Thursday will be Sentosa again but with the army dudes. My skin is not even through peeling from the previous sunburns i got during the Sentosa with fiza and suresh but I miss beach volleyball lah. But errrmmm i think it'll be pretty crowded at sentosa now that that the skool holidays are here! DAAANNNGGG! Think i'll drive that day cos I wouldnt wanna be in the bus and all la... surely crowded siaakkk!

Damn the weather is perfect today! to sleep in that is... although I could make myself productive and start listing down the things i'll need to get before I leave for Australia. Need stationary (cos it's apparently cheaper here), toiletries (in case i can't find the brand of toiletries I use over in Melbourne), some polo tees, socks...yadayadayada....

think i'l' go watch some teeveeeeeee now... the shopping can wait... today is yet another 'stay indoors' day for me and I " am lovin' it!!!"

virgin blogger i am not!

2006-05-27T17:23:00.000+08:00

I have had two blogs prior to this new one and apparently, I am now determined to commit myself to dedicating my thoughts wholly (well maybe not everything that pops up in my silly head lar) on this beautiful piece of vitual canvas that will continually be coloured with beautiful paints of words, that hopefully will make sense to my readers. Honestly I really cldnt be bothered to blog lah cause i think there are a ton of other more important things to do in life besides divulging your possibly very very inner sentiments and thoughts which may not matter to anyone else besides yourself. Furthermore, I find blogging extremely exhausting because if I were to just spit out watever that's in my head... the sentences here will totally be incoherent and inconceivable to many and as such it takes a whole lot of effort to display something remotely comprehensible to everyone.

Yes! I am very long winded... In know that because I always find myself fumbling when speaking up in tutorials just because I take so long to get my point across that I will inadvertantly forget what the point i wsa supposed to get at in the first place. ANYWAY!!! PROCELEUSMATIC!..............................................................what does it actually mean... well go figure! and YES! it IS a friggin English word and that which I hadn't conjured up myself... because I AM NOT THAT CREATIVE.... really I am not! I swear to God!

After two paragraphs long, I just remembered that I had initially wanted to explain the real reason behind my third attempt at keeping a blog going because even s I'm typing this out, I am persistently psyching myself up on the idea that I will find blogging totally fun this time round becauseeeeeeeeee I am going to Melbourne for the next six months on a Student Exchange Program and my dear friend, Fiza, insisted that I should really have a blog again especially since it'll be nice to write about my experiences in Melbourne and further insights on my life severed from my family and friends. So this blog would prolly be either an advocate for the positive image of the "one of the most livable cities in the world" or a harsh critic against the unpleasant realities in Melbourne... but considering the fact that these would be based on my personal perspectives, it would not necessarily be an accurate account of the what life really is like for everyone in Melbourne... but hey... I want to write about melbourne like that what! so lemme be la siaakkkk! (yes i have an alter ego... thats why when u read my blog it'll be like a dialogue between two individuals like that... )

In two weeks, I'll be at the airport at this time... and will be off to Melbourne... I am blarrrdy excited but at the same time I am pretty troubled by the fact that I won't be able to see, touch, hold, kiss, smell, hit, kick and hug my family and friends for the next six months... the prospect of that is killing me but eh come on la hafiz! don't be a friggin baby can?!

look forward to greater things on this blog yarrrr... u will prolly just get to know more about me and grow to love me in time... but siak ah hafiz! who gives a friggin shit that you even exist?!

PSSssssstttt

2006-05-27T13:45:00.000+08:00

Psssttttttt