Proceleusmatic Me

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Friday, April 27, 2007

i am trying to hang in there... never in my nus life have i ever had such a long examination period and the maximum number of exams i have ever taken in one semester has never been more than 4 and i have never had to do two papers in one day... this semester i start on the first day of the examination period and ends on the second last day... i have two days where i have to sit two papers... back to back... so i dunno... i think i have the right to complain yeah?

but oh well... i have two more left to go through ... next friday, 4th may... science, technology and society in the morning and genes and society in the afternoon. the three soci papers i think i did pretty okay... but today... the japanese studies module... well... it sucked. the worse thing is that i think the paper was not that difficult... it was easy and that made it difficult... does it make sense? its a just a level two module thing la... i dunno... i hate level two modules. it was open book... and the questions were pretty straight forward and the answers were, i guess, pretty obvious. and there's the problem... when answers are obvious... i went on thinking... that can't be! and then i make things complicated and then i got all confused and an easy task turned out to be difficult... and just before the exam just now, we got back our project group term paper, got a lousy B... damn disappointing but pretty much expected but that still sucks...............................................................i dunno la... but i think... well there goes my 4.0...there goes my dream of getting into the dean's list ever... there goes my chance to do a honours thesis... there goes my masters at melb uni... there goes my future.. there goes my life.

but i guess i shall stay on the positive side and just try do my best for the rest of my papers and what's done is done... and i think it is pathetic that my life seems to be controlled by my grades and performance in school... and i am 24... and that makes it all the more pathetic!

cravie |18:40

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

+++++++++++

I know i'm not supposed to be blogging... because i am supposed to be studying! but i need an outlet! i dunno who to tell so i thought i'd just express my ecstasy here! the mid term paper which i sincerely thought i was gonna flunk... that urban sociology which had really been a pain in the butt... the one which i thought would at best only be a B... well i got an A+... yes... not a C, not B, not even an A- or an A... which would have been awesome! ... but an A+!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt that i wrote crap and i got an A+??? what the fuck!... but hey i am very very happy... and so urban sociology is definitely not a lost cause yet! okay... gotta go back to studying now! i'm on cloud nine people!!! =)

cravie |11:30

Sunday, April 15, 2007

parçe que je suis stressé

I miss speaking in french... i hate it that I don't get to practice my french... so karat my french! what a waste... and I really want to sign up for capoeira laaa... been dying to do that since freshman year and still haven't got to it!... it's all about the money money money... but i hope to do it soon! i'm already 24 ! i have to start at it soon man!

I have been busy so i haven't had the time to blog! but i am kinda tired of reading about cities and urbanism and urbanisation... so i thought i'd just blog for a bit.

well let's see... since the last post, i managed to finish the damned report and the project proposals. I went for the CDC interview, presented my evidently brief and superficial proposals... the interview went well i must say. I hated the fact that I had to spend money to get a pair of black shoes for the interview... a pretty cheap pair but still money forked out... although i must say they look good! haha... right now, i dunno if i really want the CDC internship or not... seems like it will be an uphill task ahead... and worse still, i won't get to rest this coming break... i've been telling everyone to pray for me that i won't get it! haha

I collected my term papers! i got a lousy, though pretty much expected B+ for Science, Tech and Society term paper. Sociologically analysing cybersex is not an easy feat! haha... but its not too shabby... I got an A for my popular culture in contemp jap reaction paper! woohoo! although that's only 10 % but hey it still made my day!... BUT i am damnnnnn proud of my race and ethnic relations paper! I got an A for the paper itself!!!! A+ for the interview conducted! and A for the chosen public representation used for analysis in the paper! I was soooooo elated! I really needed that to motivate me to study really hard for the looming examinations. Dr. Ho gave the class back our midterms last friday at lect... i had been anticipating that the most cos i believe i wrote crap for that one... but i just wanna noe how i did so i would have an idea of how i should really prepare for the exams. but alas... friday the 13th had its curse effected on me that day... apparently ten of us didn't have our papers because he apparently left a pile at home... so his wife was on her way to bring the papers to us... so we had to wait a little bit after class to collect them at his office. when his wife finally came with the papers, the papers were not marked and graded yet!!!!!!!! HORRORness! now i have to make my way to school sometime next week to collect the midterm paper. Hopefully it won't be a C! or it will just piss me off! i need to make this sem work for me... i really want... no i NEED to do a thesis so my cap of 4.0 is very very important! my whole future depends on that! really... cos if not, I won't get to do my masters at melb uni... and there goes all my plans for the future

i guess i'll get back to the readings... i have to finish this couple of readings then I would have completed all the readings needed to be done for the first three papers!!! so tomorrow and for the rest of next week, I'll be able to get down to really STUDYING... cos past exams, studying meant finishing up the readings that had been left untouched throughout the semester but it is different this sem! and i am damn proud of myself! so yeah... i can't wait to get down to doing all those mind mapping and real revision next week... guess I won't be blogging until after the 4th of May... so wish me luck ya'll!

cravie |16:48

Friday, April 06, 2007

up, up and away!

What a bloody beautiful morning it is today! I wish I were at the beach right now! But I just woke up, plus I've got tonnes of work to do today... so beach is completely out of question... man i am sounding like that beach bummer called fiza! weeoowwwness

I wanted to sleep early last night, cos i decided not to do anything last night and hopefully i will get to do a lot today... the cdc internship project proposals due come monday is bugging the hell out if me. i just don't know where to start. yesterday i didn't sleep well... i couldn't sleep knowing someone's pissed with me. i deserve it i guess. maybe i am a two faced bastard indeed. I am really sorry about it okay, but it was never my intention to be a pain. wow... then if she still thinks that i'm a pain, and i didn't consciously try to be one...that just means that I am innately a pain...being a pain is the essence of my being... and ummm... that sucks. but oh well, we can't please everybody in the world right... and i'm not perfect...i'm merely human, and if some out there think that I'm unworthy as a friend, i guess it's no one's loss... I'm sure you have a great life outside of school... a nice family to come home to... a lovely bunch of friends whom you could count on to and you know what? i have that too... it's just sad that things turned out this way... i'd never thought that it'd ever come to this. i hate the idea that someone's hating me right now... but if i keep focusing on and thinking about all the time,i 'll be a wreck... it;s bad enough that I dreamt about it last night... it was ugly... but oh well... i gotta let go and think about all the love i've been getting and that i've taken for granted!

THE SUN DAMN BRIGHT CAN! hahahaha... i feel like going down to school to do my work... maybe i'll be productive there... but school is such a loooooooooong way and wat a slob i've become! i can drive to school and even that has become such a chore! maner tak badan semakin membuak! HAHAHA... my sister very mean... the other time i was singing along to this song on the radio la... got one part... something like... beeebrraappp bbeeebrrrraappp...beeebrrrraap... then she followed suit.. but she said... baabatbeerraattt....baabaatbbeeerraatttt...BABAT BERAT! the audacity cik nor! i hate you! but i love you!hahaha... yes i know i've grown soooo big... like a whale!... imagine myself sun tanning or something!... i will really look like a beached whale! hahaha... but i'm still fly! and i'm cuddly! hahaha

i never really took count but i think it's been two weeks that I've not had a single puff. i guess I can really quit for good now... but it'll be hard when i'm around them homies la... how to not smoke when they're all puffing away? note to self: don't be a puss... have some self restraint and quit smoking for good! and no... it's not thanks to the stupid anti smoking campaign... that ad you see on tv... the "i... have ...oral cancer... if i hadn't i wouldn't be needing... cheemoo thhhheeerraapy..."hahaha... i just laugh everytime i see it! i don't know why!... it looks so fake and she looks as if she's in real pain but only because someone's poking a needle up her arse! hahaha... but okay the point is i want to quit smoking! i have to! i need to! then i can have more money to spare... and not subject myself to the possible different diseases! i have a heart murmur condition some more!... and am still smoking... although i don't think they're related... but well i think it's time to quit... for good! and don't all you mofos be all generous and buy me a pack of ciggies just so i could puff my life away with you guys yeah! wonderful friends i have... they want me to start dying away with them... well at a faster rate that it... i mean... we are all dying right... like they say.. we start dying the moment we're born... how's that for a moral booster! live life to the fullest!

i am feeling like giving up on the internship program right now> but i know that i'll never hear the end of it from fiza... she'll prolly decide to wear one of her rare heels next time we meet and knock my head with those if she knows i blatantly let this one internship go! hahaha... or even worse! her wedges! makk.... itu tapak! scaredness!!!! CDC! WHY?! WHY NEED PROJECT PROPOSALS! I'M CLUELESS ! and i have to study! and a final report to do! WOE IS ME!.

i shall stop here i guess... and go get some work done! byeeeeebyeeeeeee!

PEACE OUT YA'll!

cravie |10:59