Proceleusmatic Me

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Friday, April 06, 2007

What a bloody beautiful morning it is today! I wish I were at the beach right now! But I just woke up, plus I've got tonnes of work to do today... so beach is completely out of question... man i am sounding like that beach bummer called fiza! weeoowwwness

I wanted to sleep early last night, cos i decided not to do anything last night and hopefully i will get to do a lot today... the cdc internship project proposals due come monday is bugging the hell out if me. i just don't know where to start. yesterday i didn't sleep well... i couldn't sleep knowing someone's pissed with me. i deserve it i guess. maybe i am a two faced bastard indeed. I am really sorry about it okay, but it was never my intention to be a pain. wow... then if she still thinks that i'm a pain, and i didn't consciously try to be one...that just means that I am innately a pain...being a pain is the essence of my being... and ummm... that sucks. but oh well, we can't please everybody in the world right... and i'm not perfect...i'm merely human, and if some out there think that I'm unworthy as a friend, i guess it's no one's loss... I'm sure you have a great life outside of school... a nice family to come home to... a lovely bunch of friends whom you could count on to and you know what? i have that too... it's just sad that things turned out this way... i'd never thought that it'd ever come to this. i hate the idea that someone's hating me right now... but if i keep focusing on and thinking about all the time,i 'll be a wreck... it;s bad enough that I dreamt about it last night... it was ugly... but oh well... i gotta let go and think about all the love i've been getting and that i've taken for granted!

THE SUN DAMN BRIGHT CAN! hahahaha... i feel like going down to school to do my work... maybe i'll be productive there... but school is such a loooooooooong way and wat a slob i've become! i can drive to school and even that has become such a chore! maner tak badan semakin membuak! HAHAHA... my sister very mean... the other time i was singing along to this song on the radio la... got one part... something like... beeebrraappp bbeeebrrrraappp...beeebrrrraap... then she followed suit.. but she said... baabatbeerraattt....baabaatbbeeerraatttt...BABAT BERAT! the audacity cik nor! i hate you! but i love you!hahaha... yes i know i've grown soooo big... like a whale!... imagine myself sun tanning or something!... i will really look like a beached whale! hahaha... but i'm still fly! and i'm cuddly! hahaha

i never really took count but i think it's been two weeks that I've not had a single puff. i guess I can really quit for good now... but it'll be hard when i'm around them homies la... how to not smoke when they're all puffing away? note to self: don't be a puss... have some self restraint and quit smoking for good! and no... it's not thanks to the stupid anti smoking campaign... that ad you see on tv... the "i... have ...oral cancer... if i hadn't i wouldn't be needing... cheemoo thhhheeerraapy..."hahaha... i just laugh everytime i see it! i don't know why!... it looks so fake and she looks as if she's in real pain but only because someone's poking a needle up her arse! hahaha... but okay the point is i want to quit smoking! i have to! i need to! then i can have more money to spare... and not subject myself to the possible different diseases! i have a heart murmur condition some more!... and am still smoking... although i don't think they're related... but well i think it's time to quit... for good! and don't all you mofos be all generous and buy me a pack of ciggies just so i could puff my life away with you guys yeah! wonderful friends i have... they want me to start dying away with them... well at a faster rate that it... i mean... we are all dying right... like they say.. we start dying the moment we're born... how's that for a moral booster! live life to the fullest!

i am feeling like giving up on the internship program right now> but i know that i'll never hear the end of it from fiza... she'll prolly decide to wear one of her rare heels next time we meet and knock my head with those if she knows i blatantly let this one internship go! hahaha... or even worse! her wedges! makk.... itu tapak! scaredness!!!! CDC! WHY?! WHY NEED PROJECT PROPOSALS! I'M CLUELESS ! and i have to study! and a final report to do! WOE IS ME!.

i shall stop here i guess... and go get some work done! byeeeeebyeeeeeee!

PEACE OUT YA'll!

cravie |10:59