Proceleusmatic Me

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I have purposely not updated this blog because firstly, the last week or so at melbourne, i always came home late cos the days were spent going out with fiza and by the time i reached home, I was just too pooped to do anything. Secondly, when I was back in Singapore, I just decided that it was just too painful for me to reminisce about melbourne, cos i was missing it like crazy and I just dont wanna talk about some place and the experiences there without being able to be there.. not now,not anytime in the near future. I had plenty of time to update my blog.. but i Just didnt, i refused to and I am really sorry to the regular blog readers of mine... no matter how miniscule the number is! hahaha

So well... as ya'll noe, I came back on the 20th of december. The past few days before that was an energy consuming and a blardy migraine inducing experience, obsessing about my baggage that was totally gonna exceed the permitted weightage! fortunately, fiza helped me with about 6 kilos of sutff when she went back home the day before I did.

As I head home from the airport after fiza went through the departure gates, I felt so sad...almost surreal that I was going to go home the next day. Everything looked so familiar around me, the airport, the shuttle, southern cross station where I took my last train ride home to merlynston. Yet, there was the realisation that there was something more familiar awaiting me miles away from melbourne. I couldn't wait to go back to Singapore, but not knowing when I'll be back in melbourne makes it quite unbearable to leave the latter. walking home from merlynston railway station to derby street along the fawkner memorial park, I felt like tearing. I was like a sponge, trying to take in all that walking, the road, the trees, the huge beautiful roses that seemed to bid me a sad farewell and the icy cold wind that keeps blowing against my face. My brother was there walking with me, but I felt really alone because no one else could share in the pain that I was experiencing. The ground I was walking on seemed to clutch my feet as if they were the best of friends while the star lit sky seemed ever so ready to take me back home to Singapore. I really miss melbourne. well yeah, life was not complete there but it was a life that I could really make do with.

So anyway, my cousin drove me to the airport the next day and I was glad I didnt have to queue up for a long time to check in! and to my surprise, my bagge of about 32 kilos went through without questions asked. I should have indeed brought back the rest of my stuff that I'd left back at my cousin's! But then... suddenly I was told I couldnt get on the flight because I supposedly needed a ticket although mine was electronically confirmed already. I was so frustrated because it totally didnt make any sense. My seat was confirmed and I've always known that once ur seat is electronically confirmed, u dont need a physical ticket to present at check in! but the woman insisted that I call back my travel agency in singapore to deal with the matter! I was getting so flustered and nervous. So my baggage was returned back and I couldnt get checked in! while I made the call to singapore, my cousin and her husband helped me enquire about the situation at the qantas sales service desk. and guess wat? there were two MUHAMMAD HAFIZs on the same flight. the silly ol woman thought that HAFIZ was my last name, when the whole confusion wouldnt have come abt if she were to realise that my last name was Roslee!...so i got checked in finally and I had to lug my surfboard to some other place because it was too big to be checked in at the counter.

I played with my nieces for a good half an hour before I went through the gate.The goodbyes were brief but quite emotional for me, and I was really grateful to my cousin and her family for everthing while i was over at melb... While I was waiting to board the plane, my bro called me...we chatted for a bit... he was in skool, so he couldnt see me off. then I just sat there, alone, staring at my brown nike shoes. my sadness turned into anxiety becos I have acquired a phobia of flying a couple of years ago! hahaha... i dreaded boarding the plane and when I found out i got the window seat, I was like WEEOOOWWW! a couple sat beside me... i think they were british.. i didnt mind them at all... choosing to just be in a world of my own.. I took out my surfing magazine, just trying to get my mind off the fear of flying. we were in the plane for almost one hr before we finally took off because of the haze. wellm the flight was pretty smooth and I when I finally saw changi airport abt 7 hrs later, i got so excited! I got off the plane real quick and just made my way to the immigration as fast as i could. it was weird to see Malay and chinese staff at the airport... felt kinda warm and fuzzy inside, cos it really felt like home...felt like somewhere i really belong. while getting to my luggage, I saw my aunties waving madly at me! hahaha... it was nice to see them, .. and i saw my mum, calm and collected, trying to seek me out from the other passengers waiting for their bags. My surfboard looked much bigger suddenly and i was like regretting bringing that back home! so bigg.. so many people out there.. paisey la! but oh well.. i went through the arrival gates and i hugged my mum first! then my dad and my aunties... i forgot my sister sey!hahaha... thats cos I saw my frens... didtn noe they were there! amirul and hamsa and dee and fath! was so glad to se them all!oh and the heat definitely made its presence felt too... the humidity! oh man!

days after were spent at chalets and dinners with friends and family... and just getting myself assimilated back to the singapore way of living. i am glad i dont feel awkward or out of place! the food as usual, is great!!!!!!! and I have been having loads of fun these past few days since i got back.

i have so many fotos that I want to put up here, but i have none...my laptop is still at the repair's and the cds my bro sent me that was full of melb pics cannot be accessed becos my pc's cd rom drive is spoilt. so hopefully i'll get to do that in the near future .

cheong chye aka ziggy went off to Lyon, france, recently for his SEP.. and he has been religiously blogging since he reached there. wheni read one particular post, i felt regretful. CC got to meet many people from around the world, fellow exchange student. I had the chance to when I was in melb but I didnt! i feel like kicking myself... but when i thought it over, i realised why...firstly, i felt so out of place cos there were hardly any asians around what more malays, when i first got to meet the group of exchange students... i talked to a few italians and swedish during the briefing but that was it... there were many welcome parties and meetings but I chose not to go to them because it was always a drinking party! and bbqs! but now, i think mayeb i shld have just joined along... i didnt have to drink nor eat because that's not the main thing they do at these meetings right? U WISH! hahaha

but all's well! SEP was enriching nontheless! made more singaporean frens@ haha.. and i thoroughly enjoyed my stay there! i did pretty good for the exams considering the effort i put in and studying there for a semester definitely made me a better student i think. it was indeed, as cliched as it sounds, an eye opening experience. Now, its time for me to slog in NUS and reach that CAP of 4.0 by the end of the semester. This semester will prolly be the toughest ever becos i'll be doing six modules! and i have to also at the same time work my ass off to earn back all the money that i have used up at melbourne. 2007 for me seemed pretty unexciting becos there really is nothing to look forward to. just imagine, no money and so much work to take on...where's the life in that? my focus right now is to do really well in skool.. and do rellly well in my honours year and hopefully i will be good enuf to get a scholarship to do my masters at meb uni again. i cant wait to go back to melbourne... adn hopefully to start my life off there... it will be bombin!!!! and i really miss surfing, or trying to surf.. hahaha... i wANt to practise and practise! but woe is me! dunno when i'll get to surf.. hopefully cherating will happen soon! and i need to go scout for other surfer dudes here in singapore... so i can mayeb join in their surfing trips or soemthing.. and at least i will get pointers and guidance from ppl who share the same passion as i do! so surfers out there! holler at me la!!!

cravie |11:00