Proceleusmatic Me

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Monday, November 19, 2007

meeting deadlines this semester was extremely unpleasant. paternal granddad and maternal grandma were in hospital at about the same time... both fell down at home. grandma alright, granddad bedridden. and there goes cycle 233985047502703 of family politics and incessant caretaking. i pity my grand dad... i wouldn't want to be in his shoes and i pray hard everyday i would not end up like that when i'm old. when you become immobilized and have to put on diapers and defaecate and urinate on your own bed and having to wait for your children and grandchildren come before you could be bathed and cleaned... where is the human dignity in that?

exams are coming... deadlines are well... all done i suppose... and i am extremely overwhelmed by everything... i miss my friends. i feel like everyday i am going deeper and deeper into a hell hole. there is nothing to look forward to in the near future. right after exams work awaits me. hnrs thesis is the pits. and as i complain incessantly here i feel so pathetic that i feel like i'd rather die

cravie |22:18

Sunday, October 28, 2007

the pits

i dunno what to do. maybe it's a retribution of some sort. i don't deserve this. just one more wrong move from someone and i'll just give way. i'm not a machine. i am human like everyone else. so stop expecting too much of me or i'll just jump

cravie |18:42

Thursday, October 11, 2007

my sad boardie

my surfboard looks sad... i think it misses the water.... i miss the ocean too boardie... i really need to live somewhere close to the ocean la!

cravie |02:23

Thursday, October 04, 2007

i feel lighter!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! not because i lost weight or anything la! haha! but i do feel lighter... if you know what i mean. and it is quite a good feeling. still so many things to do... but i guess it's not so bad now cause at least there's a direction in which i could proceed towards... everything seems to fall into place somewhat. i was trying my very best to get through the woods... but the more i ran through it the more i got lost in it... now that i've found a pathway out of it, i'll just take my time through it, it'll take some time, but at least i know i'll come out of it alive

cravie |23:59

Sunday, September 30, 2007

let's whine and dine and make misery

so i have not been blogging for a long time... but that is only because I would have just ended up making noise and complaining about my horrible life. I mean, right now as I blog, I can't think of anything else other than my piles of work. I have been extremely busy... this semester's workload supersedes even last semester when i was taking 6 modules. Seeeeeee! this is why i stopped blogging for a while cos I didn't want to end up talking about school. But really la... school is taking its toll on me big time.

by the way, I just love mad jack's... yummy yummy food... although seriously, the blue mountain burger is sooo overrated... haha!... raya is coming already... time really flies... as usual, raya has lost its spark for me... what more with the house moving one week after raya and the deadlines come darting at me. on top of that I wouldn't have anything new to wear for raya cos my nice purple baju kurung (the only reason i was looking forward to raya) ... well the pants... had to be sent for alteration because I could not fit into it! and now it won't be ready in time. It's funny cos i sent a sample baju kurung in which I could fit nicely... even the pants, and they insisted that the measurements were all correct.... soooooooo how is it that I could not fit into the new pants??? pray tell me why my stupid baju kurung tailor? my parents asked me to go get a ready made baju kurung but no way in hell am I gonna bother myself with that... i'll just wear an old set... i haev many baju kurungs la... wear once only. I can't believe I feel nauseated talking about raya!

well besides that, there's nothing else to talk about... of course I did go out and all la... that my life didn't really just involve studying only... but I am immensely broke right now... because some people just refuses to pay the tuition fees. it is not the first time and I am really contemplating to just quit tutoring her kid. But i sorta pity the kid la... but then how sey? People say just go ask and ask for the fees until she gives but I don't like to extort money from people la. aiya dunno la.

and as usual, I feel mopey about melbourne again. or maybe not really la... I think what I need is a really damn good holiday. I knew this was coming... I'm burning out I think because I really feel like quitting honours year... I really feel I don't have what it takes to go on.

see... I ended up talking about school

I'm miserable

But I'm still thankful God...

cravie |11:23

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Mad World

i love this rendition of Mad World by Ben Mckenzie, Aussie Idol '07 contestant

cravie |15:00

Monday, August 27, 2007

wind, take me away with you

just at this very moment i really wish I could be elsewhere... i am so tensed that I really just want to paddle the cold waters of Australia and be one with the ocean. i want to feel the cold water splashing on my face and i will beg the waves to take me away... far far away from this melancholy. i miss the great ocean.

cravie |20:54